Posted by "The Swingset Scene" at user172.net813.nc.sprint-hsd.net on September 19, 2003 at 12:11:29:
In Reply to: OK, joking aside..... posted by Eyes Only on September 19, 2003 at 12:02:20:
: : ...Have you just plain tried telling her that she irritates the fuck out of you? I mean - be as coarse as that - it might strike a bit deeper than a polite complaint.
-Like I said to O~*, she CAN'T see herself in that light.
She's probably not a bad person - most people aren't - she may have no idea that what she considers as her 'normal' behaviour irritates you so much.
-Ok, see here is another problem. Lets say I tell her that the humming bothers me, and it really does, unlike ANYTHING I have ever encountered. I HURTS me to hear it. So, I tell her not to hum anymore. Does this stop it? Nope. It will turn into another chance for her to talk to me. She will just start humming, and then HAVE to inform me that she was humming and that she has stopped, and that she doesn't know why she still does it. It would be worse.
: The flirting is probably no more than a consequence of a mixed sex office environment. One way of stopping it is to come on to her, maximum strength, and frighten her with your manly intensity.
-No FN way. uh-uh.
There is a huge grey fuzzy line between outright flirting and just being 'nice' - she may not have realised that she has drifted as far to one side as she has - particularly if you don't really react.
-A "reaction" from me would be pretending she didn't say anything, and then cut a semi-iratated glare towards her. I such a polite and nice person, that a non-reaction as just as strong as me saying something. She has even said before something along the lines of her husband flirting with younger people at work, and I am her example or whatever at this office. YUCK! See, she sees it as totally harmless, accepted, and EXpected behavior between older women, and young men. And, she also probably knows that there isn't a chance in all of hell that anthing would ever happen, so it opens her up for more. Most of it is innocent, but other stuff, like blocking the hallway so I have to either ask her to move, or try to slide by her really drives me nuts.
: I apologise if I seem to be too kindly towards her - I do entirely sympathise with your situation - yeah, irritating as hell.
: If I think of anything else, I'll email you.
-cool.