i just laughed so hard tears came to my eyes. *nt*


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Posted by kitchen wench at 68.112.226.124 on September 19, 2003 at 13:11:59:

In Reply to: Morning folks. As a distraction to the many lame posted by Krazy Kat on September 19, 2003 at 11:40:56:

: ass Ben and Jen posts (look below), I thought I'd post this to take your minds off it. Someone e-mailed it to me this morning, and it had me laughing so hard I had to share it. Someon of you may have already seen this, but all I ask is that you choose at least one of these dares and actually do it! I've already done #13. Enjoy!

:
: ONE-POINT DARES

:

: 1.. Run one lap around the office at top speed.

: 2.. Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

: 3.. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

: 4.. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

:
: 5.. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your head.

:
: 6.. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"

: 7.. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

: 8.. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

: 9.. While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

:

:
: THREE-POINTS DARES

: 1.. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

: 2.. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

: 3.. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

: 4.. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

: 5.. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

:

:
: FIVE POINT DARES

:

: 1.. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

: 2.. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

:
: 3.. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

:
: 4.. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

:
: 5.. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
:

: 6.. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

:
: 7.. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

:
: 8.. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

:
: 9.. In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

:
: 10.. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"

:
: 11.. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

:
: 12.. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

:

: 13.. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

:

: 14.. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

:

: 15.. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

:

: 16.. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

:

: 17.. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.

:

: 18.. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

:

: 19.. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

:

:
: And if that wasn't enough for you here are some examples of insane acts you can use anywhere...

:

: 1.. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

:

: 2.. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

:

: 3.. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

:

: 4.. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."

:

: 5.. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

:

: 6.. In the subject field for all your e-mails, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".

:

: 7.. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

:

: 8.. Don't use any punctuation

:

: 9.. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

:

: 10.. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

:

: 11.. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

:

: 12.. Sing along at the opera.

:

: 13.. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

:

: 14.. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

:

: 15.. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

:

: 16.. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

:

: 17.. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

:

: 18.. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

:

:




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