Posted by -AL- at wwwcache1.rhul.ac.uk on October 09, 2003 at 20:07:53:
Yesterday was the annual rugby game between the current side versus the old boys at my alma mater: Royal Holloway, University of London. As is customary to these occasions, there was a huge beer session afterwards and I got wankered. Anyway, I was staying at a friend's room in the student halls but he went away with his mates for a smkoe, and I said fuck that shit and decided to go back to the room. The thing is I lost the key cards. So I went to security to ask them to let me in. However, rather than saying "I am his mate, I lost his keys, let me in you fucks!", I said: "I lost MY keys to MY room!" The security guy asks for my name and an ID: I say, my name is Jamie Macdonald, and here is my ID as I had Jamie's Students' Union card. Now I look nothing like the fucker at all and the guard notices this, obviously. He says: This ain't you, bitch! And I said: Hell Yeah, Motherfucker; what are you talking about? (Maybe a bit more verbose than that) Anyway, I get let in eventually. Not content with that, I go fridge-raiding for beers. When I get back, the security guys are there with the fucking warden. Anyway, they ask for more ID and I show them pics that Jamie has got. The guy goes "This is not you, you are his twin aren't you?" And I go: Yes, I'm so sorry. I have to reiterate, this fucker looks as much like me as Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like Vanessa Redgrave. So they say, you have to leave and whatnot and I had to go and find some other place. I just busted in into the computer place and slept there: Classy.
The ironic thing was that I had the room keys in my pocket all along. I am a moron.