Posted by xnavygrl at 4.4.222.4 on December 10, 2003 at 13:47:48:
In Reply to: You are not. posted by finnegan on December 10, 2003 at 13:23:21:
: To deal with it head on like that, and actively go out of your way to make something in memory of him like that and so soon after his passing means that you are far from a wimp. As far as timing goes with many things you never can predict. Things are always different, the people, the places, situations. The circumstances were far from ideal or even remotely normal with my family, a lot of off the wall things kept happening. It was a real, quick deal with this, move on, here comes another. This past October though, i had a dream with my mother in it. It was very much a "this happened, i'm back, we're going to make things better again" kind of dream that you didn't want to wake up from, and after having it, feeling so bad you wish you never did. I took the dream with the upcoming birthday as a sign that it was time.
That is way cool about the dream. I've only had one dream since he died, but it was so real. I totally get it that you wish you hadn't had to wake up. In mine, it was like a visit. He was THERE, man, I swear. I could feel him, smell him, etc. I'd love to have another one. What kind of circumstances, if you don't mind me asking. In our case, Dad had prostate cancer, which very easily could have been caught and treated 5 years ago when he started getting symptoms, but he ignored them. I don't know how old you are, Finn, but please have your dr. give you a simple PSA test every year. You'll thank God you did. Anyway, he was diagnosed in May 2001 and we had him till August 2003. He was doing great till around June. We all had plenty of time to say goodbye, bury hatchets, spend quality time. It was honestly wonderful, considering.
: It's weird, but thankfully, it is a once in a lifetime thing. Which also means that you want to handle as best you can, because there won't be another time to try to go about it again, however. I know my older brother ever grows up he's going to have a lot of guilt over how he dealt with my mother's illness and everything afterwards.
: That CD was a great idea. My ex-girlfriend's grandfather passed away last year( happened before i met her though), and he was very much into music. Before he passed away he had made on last album he sung on, not sure if he played any instruments, but my ex's grandmother made copies of the album for everyone which was very sweet. The ex was real close with him. She had a hard time listening to the CD, but you could tell she enjoyed have this piece of him to remember when she played it for me and told me about him. I imagine similar good things coming from what you did for your family.
That is so cool! The only thing we have are some reel to reels that Dad did when we were kids. Mom's giving that stuff to me to transfer onto cd. I can't wait to hear his voice again. I hear it in my head, but it's not the same.
You really are a great guy to listen to all this stuff....it is helping me SO MUCH!! ;)