Posted by Lithmick at 63.121.103.155 on December 08, 2003 at 14:22:17:
In Reply to: The Magic Thread of Letters to Santa posted by Kimberlieo on December 08, 2003 at 12:51:50:
Dear Santa,
We haven't seen you for some time at my house. Well, save for the socks that we find in our stockings each year. Thanks, Santa. Nothing says Christmas like tube socks.
The last time I saw you as a child, like always (at your request) instead of leaving you milk and cookies, we gave you a six pack of Coor's Extra Gold when you arrived on Christmas Eve. After dispensing some good old fashioned holiday cheer, you got back in your Dodge Dart (I mean, sleigh) and drove on to visit some other houses. I never saw you again. The thing is - you requested the beer. The specific beer. Were other houses wooing you with Sam Adams? Killian's? Some exotic import not found in our neck of the woods? Why did you not come back?
After I got older, I read up on some customs and realized that beer wasn't a popular alternative to milk and cookies. I also realized that Santa's shouldn't tape his beards on. Nor does he drive a Dodge. Was this one of your "helpers"? I think OSHA might have some issues with the representatives you send out.
Regardless - back to the socks. Could we mix it up this year, with perhaps - I don't know - a pack of cigarettes? Given your beer swilling representatives, surely you arent against hopping over to your nearest convienence store in the North Pole and picking me up a pack. I'm tired of paying 8.00.
Thanks.