Posted by mlc at authorized_proxy6.cogeco.net on February 24, 2004 at 23:57:27:
In Reply to: Can someone read this script for me? posted by adamapple76 on February 24, 2004 at 23:42:16:
I bookmarked it, and if I have some time in the next couple of days I'll give it a gander. I read the first tad, and one little, insignificant question comes to mind.
"Open the second door to the diner. The POV shot continues with a look to the left, then to the right, as if trying to FIND or RECOGNIZE SOMEONE."
Why capitalize the "find" and "recognize someone?" There are a few other instances in the first couple of pages that you capitalize things and I don't know why. Typically (or so I've read) you capitalize sound effects, and characters names when they're introduced.
Plus, you use scene numbers, which (unless your shooting it yourself, in which case, ignore this) is something that you don't do until the script is in production. Same with all the details of camera movement. The writer it supposed to describe what's happening in this fictitious world, not how it's presented to the inevitable audience. So write like a writer, not a director, is what I'm saying. (at least that's the way that I was always led to believe it should be done)
And one last knit-picky thing: you use "beat" to refer to a pause. This is incorrect, yet EVERYONE does it. Technically, a "beat" is an actors term, which essentially means to convey something when dialogue isn't used. So it's the director that orders a beat, not the writer. It happens so much that it's now common, though.
Now, I know you probably know these things, that's why you asked for reviews on the content. And I'm not trying to be a dick. It's just a couple of little things that I noticed and decided to point out. I'll apologize in advance for my anal retentive attention to the little things.