Posted by nastypup at pcp04985504pcs.benslm01.pa.comcast.net on February 25, 2004 at 16:22:48:
I don't know if this had been posted but my sister just sent it and I can't stop laughing.
We have all had dates. but this takes the cake. This was on the "Tonight
Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most
embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her
worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her
tale took the prize!
Marilyn said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...and the guy had
taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). No,
not Marilyn. They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home
late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she
gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the
middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point
where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road,
or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly
crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.
Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about
was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the
situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another
sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her
buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues
frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to
disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed some assistance"!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She
too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was,
they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the
fender.
As for the Tonight Show... she took the prize hands down... or perhaps that
should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
This gives a whole new meaning to being "pissed off".