Best of luck with it all Chilli

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: What a difference a month makes! Good to hear you've made your peace with what you were feeling before - and i wish you all the best with the girl you met today. : P.s. I didn't know you were an Aylesbury boy. I'm relatively near there. Relatively. : : : It is 15:53 in Wales, and I am just taking a short-break from my essay notes to hang on the board. : : Those of who you are regulars may remember an abbreviated version of this... : : 'Something Personal : : I am Ian Austin. : : I am nineteen years old : : I am studying Film and Television Studies at the University of Aberystwyth, located in Wales. : : I am hung up over a girl that I never actually dated, and whose feelings for me (if any) were never recipitated. In short folks, she didnt like me the way I liked her. : : What the hell does this have to do with you? : : Nothing, but Id like it if you could sit here and just reflect with me for a spell. : : Love. The one word in the English (or whatever country your from) dictionary that everyone says they can explain, but no one can actually rationalise. Its like theres this conspiracy, whereby love isnt expressed through words, or body language, but by an ache right there (Im pointing to my heart folks, and I really dont want to know where you think Im pointing.) : : Why does it still hurt? Get over it asshole. : : Its been a long time since Ive spoken to, nay even seen, the girl of my affections. Part of me doubts Ill ever see her again, having moved on in theory, if not in practice. For while I reside here in Wales, far from my hometown of Aylesbury (near London, England), my heart is still there, refusing to give up the notion that someday she will say the three words thatll make me experience a moment of pure happiness : : Id love to. : : Is this going to happen? : : No. : : I realise this, but realising it and accepting it are two completely different things. In the end it all comes back to her, all the anger that slowly boils up inside me, leading to silent anguish that I cant explain in laymens terms to my friends, which ends up being exorcised via the medium of script-writing as a moment of cathartic thinking. : : She was the first girl I truly cared for, and that feeling is incredibly hard to shake away. : : Im hoping by writing this here, that I am able to try and once and for all exorcise the demons that inhabit the one part of my brain that doesnt listen to reason or logic. : : The Heart : : If you read this, thanks for letting me digress from whatever you were doing. : : If you havent, dont worry. You didnt miss much. : : Just the intellectual waxing of a guy whos trying to find some clarity, meaning and understanding. : : Ian Austin : : 22.2.04 : : 19.41pm' : : (Ps... visit the message board (lol).) : : ... appearing on the 22nd of Febuary, on this Here message-board. : : I've been doing a lot of thinking since I posted this, and have actually officially moved on. This is in due part to this girl I met in my lecture today. She's funny, cute, smart, and more importantly seemed to be crushing slightly on me. : : I think you guys can tell that my day has rocked pretty hard so far (lol). : : That was it. : : Um... bye... : : (Ps... Next week I think I'll get around to asking her what her name is, for future reference.)

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