Posted by Kemo Twa at ghaps.org on March 22, 2004 at 09:12:58:
and we aren't doing anything so I shall now tell you my story.
My friends and I have this yearly gathering, it's kind of odd but we kind of enjoy it. It's held only when Piersma's parent's are away on business, visiting relatives ect. We get a bunch of broken appliances from around the area, bring them all to Piersma's driveway and destroy them; we even videotape the whole thing. Now, "destroy" is a very loose term with us. Destroy could mean tossed off the roof, smashed to s--t buy baseball bats and sledge hammers, or set on fire. Now don't get me wrong, we are far from being a redneck, although that doesn't make us intelligent; honestly we're just suburbanites.
As I was saying, we have this event but the five of us (Me, Jeremy, Cory, Piersma, and Lexi) were rather perplexed with how to deconstruct this vacuum. It was a beastly vacuum from the sixties that didn't take no guff from us. We tossed it off the roof, hit it with a sledgehammer, and eventually ran over with the van. It was still perfectly fine. That's when Cory and Piersma get the idea of swinging this forty-pound vacuum in one direction and swinging at it with a bat in the other. Now, naturally, we didn't think at all about the repercussions of such actions, we were just having fun. Piersma swings, connects, and walks off with badly shaken hands and telling Jeremy not to do it because it "f--king hurts." Now, Jeremy steps up, and doesn't give up. He swings twice, cracking it each time, but it seems that those two hits diminished all his skill because then he missed twice and hit the pavement. The pavement was what finished him.
Now it was my turn, and we all wanted this dead. As I was stepping up Jeremy was telling me to hit it "f--king hard." Well, I got up, took stance, and waited for Cory to start spinning the vacuum. He just started, I watch it get up to speed, and right as it starts to come around I begin to swing. Before I can realize I connected, I was knocked back and I had a weird numb feeling on my face.
I'm glad that Lexi was recording because I don't think I would have really understood how funny it was without seeing it. As soon as I hit it, it came back and cracked me in the face. Luckily it hit me in the cheekbone or I might have gone to the hospital. I was able to hide my huge black eye from my parents and my friends just got to laugh at me every time they saw me.
As for the tape, I want to get it out to some of my friends but the actual quality of the camera angles are horrible. Although Lexi got some great shots, she would frequently just let the camera hang at her side.
That's my story, pretty damn lame, I know.