Doctor Smith Goes to Illinois... The good folks at Illinois Wesleyan (my new alumnus) stayed true to their word and made me a Doctor (of Human Letters). The commencement went smooth, as did the speech, which was amazingly "fuck"-free (I later learned the staff had a poll going as to how many times I'd say "fuck" in the speech; apparently, much money was lost). I look terrible in green bedsheets, but my degree (and the container it came in) are damned spiffy. Many thanks and shout-outs to my fellow grads of the Illinois Wesleyan Class of 2000 (especially Scott), and to President Meyers and his gracious wife Ellen, who made me feel at home, and showed me a centuries-old copy of 'Dante's Inferno'. The single best part of the commencement, though, was watching over five hundred young adults step up and accept their degrees. Man, the smiles on those faces - satisfied that they'd accomplished what they'd set out to do four years before. It made me feel proud to be a twenty-something - and appreciating that tender ten-year period is something I haven't done in quite some time, as I'm so used to it that it rarely registers. But as I stand at the top step of my twenties, poised to make that slight climb into my thirties in a few months, it was nice to savor the flavor of so-called 'slackerdom' or 'Generation X' one last time before the big move. I thank Illinois Wesslyan for that moment. I'll miss my twenties a bit, but I'm now fully prepared to embrace 'adulthood', I guess. Shit - I'm being sent for baby milk. I'll finish this when I get back. You know, I never had to get baby milk in my twenties. Fuck - I'm starting to miss my twenties.