Posted by Darth Dobbin2 at 208-58-250-61.s315.tnt1.nwhv.ct.dialup.rcn.com on February 22, 2000 at 22:07:46:
Ahem. From the IMDb page...(vaguely on-topic; ABC debacle, and eventual Carlin reference. Don't unlock the gun rack just yet Smalls..)
Parker Rewriting "Blame Canada"
South Park creator Trey Parker will rewrite the lyrics for "Blame Canada," the Oscar-nominated song from South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, before it is performed at next month's Academy Awards telecast, USA Today columnist Jeannie Williams reported today (Tuesday). Williams quoted Lili Fini Zanuck who is co-producing the telecast with her husband, Richard, as saying that Parker "will come up with some funny solutions to his own problems. ... We won't do anything to "Blame Canada," but Trey Parker is aware of the ABC censors."
Now, not to go off on a rant here, but a censor, by definition, is "A person authorized to examine books, films, or other material and to remove or suppress what is considered morally, politically, or otherwise objectionable." That in and of itself is creepy enough, but the out and out absurdity of "censoring" that which you are awarding is fucking Swiftian! If it is considered too objectionable to be heard by the tender ears and sensibilities of the self-appointed arbiters of what-may-be-thought, then how and why do they wish to award it?
TV has had a long-standing history of fear-driven mediocrity, and concession to some imagined rule-set of morality (The "twin beds" of married couples in 50s sitcoms,Jagger sings "Let's spend SOME TIME together" on the Sullivan Show, the Doors are encouraged to change the lyrics to "Girl, we couldn't get much BETTER," Elvis is filmed from the waist up, ostensibly to prevent apoplectic fits of sexual release from repressed and simmering hordes of teen-girls, etc...) But sweet Bingo-playing Christ, this has certainly reached a ridiculous extreme.. Schizophrenia abounds- CLERKS is back-burnered due to improper focus-testing, while the same network that routinely has Dennis Franz screaming "Dickbag!" while showing his ass, finds the funny words of a whimsical song so off-putting that they must be changed? Oh, Kev, I can only imagine the righteous fury that must be yours over CLERKS. Forgive them, though, for they know not what they do. It's their nature to suck.
It's amazing that language, especially humorous language, is considered "dangerous" and "obscene" when networks are prepared to offer up for public consumption such demeaning fare as shows which simultaneously lower the intellectual bar, while raising the mean level of greed and avarice... When the sacred union of marriage is trivialized and set to flashy lights and slick production values, and made to act as a whore for a back-lit "MILLIONAIRE" watching like some sick combination of Billy Baldwin in SLIVER, and the bad guy from INSPECTOR GADGET... I find the deification of the concept of becoming a MILLIONAIRE or marrying a MILLIONAIRE, or doing whatever to a MILLIONAIRE, by way of some lowest-common-denominator game-show which offers high rewards for low achievers to be obscene. I find the empty words of the leading politicians, all sound and fury, signifying nothing, obscene. I find the glamorization and titillation of violent car-crashes/chases/shoot-outs, air-show tragedies, or rock-climbing mishaps obscene.
I find nothing intrinsically obscene about the combinations of sounds that join together to form the word "fuck," nor do I find obscene the act that that word signifies.
George Carlin is a prophet. GO to his site, www.georgecarlin.com for a dose of sanity. It's a good deal, it tastes just like humor going down. I find it a cool bit of synchronicity that he ended up in DOGMA, and not shitty Chevy Chase.
I take heart in the fact that coolness still abounds, and creativity and honest expression, like DOGMA, is weed-like in its tenacity to live, and thrive, even in the cracks of the asphalt of the "morality" and "standards" poured atop the ground by fear-driven executives, and suit-wearing number counters. I also take heart in the fact that it was always so; the metaphorical Man has been forever keeping coolness down, and trying to "normalize" by way of killing those on the high-end of the bell curve. W.B. Yeats, in a fit of despair, wrote
"The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity."
And he hadn't even seen WHO WANTS TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE. So its been tough to be cool for a while. Don't let that stop you, though, Kevin. Remember the lesson of Kirk with the Kobeashi Maru. If they make the rules so you can't win, change the rules. It's worked for you so far.
Whew. OK, that's out of the old system. Now it's time to focus on what I do best- making improbable animated gifs of anal rape, and such.