Drew Carey?

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: : Ahem. From the IMDb page...(vaguely on-topic; ABC debacle, and eventual Carlin reference. Don't unlock the gun rack just yet Smalls..):: : Smalls does'nt believe in violence. He is one of those really big guys who was never pushed around as a kid so now he's a big pussy. But don't quote me on that. He is still rather large. : : : Now, not to go off on a rant here, but a censor, by definition, is "A person authorized to examine books, films, or other material and to remove or suppress what is considered morally, politically, or otherwise objectionable." That in and of itself is creepy enough, but the out and out absurdity of "censoring" that which you are awarding is fucking Swiftian! If it is considered too objectionable to be heard by the tender ears and sensibilities of the self-appointed arbiters of what-may-be-thought, then how and why do they wish to award it?::: : Because it was a bad year for the muscial? : : : : : TV has had a long-standing history of fear-driven mediocrity, and concession to some imagined rule-set of morality (The "twin beds" of married couples in 50s sitcoms,Jagger sings "Let's spend SOME TIME together" on the Sullivan Show, the Doors are encouraged to change the lyrics to "Girl, we couldn't get much BETTER," Elvis is filmed from the waist up, ostensibly to prevent apoplectic fits of sexual release from repressed and simmering hordes of teen-girls, etc...)::: : Can't just blame the TV people. Jagger should have shown some sack and said the words. Morrison also pussied out. : :But sweet Bingo-playing Christ, this has certainly reached a ridiculous extreme.. Schizophrenia abounds- CLERKS is back-burnered due to improper focus-testing, while the same network that routinely has Dennis Franz screaming "Dickbag!" while showing his ass, finds the funny words of a whimsical song so off-putting that they must be changed?::: : Yea,but Dennis never says "now my kids tell me to go fuck myself". Words only have the power humans give them and a good majority of America gives certain words WAY too much power. If ABC let Parker say fuck, then a shitstorm would commence because America is full of assholes. : : ::Oh, Kev, I can only imagine the righteous fury that must be yours over CLERKS. Forgive them, though, for they know not what they do. It's their nature to suck. :: : Personally, I never understood why Kevin signed with ABC. ABC is the Disney network, I knew they would pussy out. When you dance with the devil, the devil leads,you don't. : : When the sacred union of marriage is trivialized and set to flashy lights and slick production values, and made to act as a whore for a back-lit "MILLIONAIRE" watching like some sick combination of Billy Baldwin in SLIVER, and the bad guy from INSPECTOR GADGET... I find the deification of the concept of becoming a MILLIONAIRE or marrying a MILLIONAIRE, or doing whatever to a MILLIONAIRE, by way of some lowest-common-denominator game-show which offers high rewards for low achievers to be obscene.:::::: : This is America. We have chapels in Vegas where you can get married without having to leave your car. Marriage means different stuff here now. People don't give a shit anymore in this country. : ::I find the empty words of the leading politicians, all sound and fury, signifying nothing, obscene. I find the glamorization and titillation of violent car-crashes/chases/shoot-outs, air-show tragedies, or rock-climbing mishaps obscene.::: : You are preaching to the choir. But the deaf won't hear even if you scream in their faces. : : : : I find nothing intrinsically obscene about the combinations of sounds that join together to form the word "fuck," nor do I find obscene the act that that word signifies. :: : You ever watch amateur porn? The sex act can be very degrating and obscene. : : George Carlin is a prophet. GO to his site, www.georgecarlin.com for a dose of sanity. It's a good deal, it tastes just like humor going down. I find it a cool bit of synchronicity that he ended up in DOGMA, and not shitty Chevy Chase. ::: : Agreed, Chevy sucks nuggets and I'm more of a Murray fan than ever when I heard Bill ripped into him backstage at the SNL 25th because Chevy was drunk. But Carlin is played. He yaks about shit like that and does 1-800 collect commericals. He has a facade just like Dice Clay and Andy Kaufman did. Sam Kinison was Sam Kinison. No one would ever mistake that. I bought Carlin's CD collection(It was called Mellow Gold I think) and the liner notes made me want to puke. I think Carlin can be very funny and I used to love his stuff but he is just another barroom comedian. Kinison was on a different level. He believed what he said. Some of it was raw and some was wrong but he believed it. I dug Eddie Murphy until he started apologizing for some of the shit he said. Sure, ripping gays was wrong, but have a sack. Apologize,but don't lose your fucking spine. : : : : I take heart in the fact that coolness still abounds, and creativity and honest expression, like DOGMA, is weed-like in its tenacity to live, and thrive, even in the cracks of the asphalt of the "morality" and "standards" poured atop the ground by fear-driven executives, and suit-wearing number counters. :: : Don't blame them. They just want money. Blame the people who cry like Bill Donahoe when something offends them. People think that all entertainment is aimed at themselves and they get offended when it says something they dislike. If you don't like Dogma, don't see it. If you don't like Howard Stern,don't listen. People in America don't get that. : W.B. Yeats, in a fit of despair, wrote : : "The ceremony of innocence is drowned; : : The best lack all conviction, while the worst : : Are full of passionate intensity.":: : Didn't Satre say "Hell is other people". That fits. : : : And he hadn't even seen WHO WANTS TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE. So its been tough to be cool for a while. Don't let that stop you, though, Kevin. Remember the lesson of Kirk with the Kobeashi Maru. If they make the rules so you can't win, change the rules. It's worked for you so far. :: : And don't do Mallrats 2 or Clerks 2. They will poop. Go forward,not sideways. : : Whew. OK, that's out of the old system. Now it's time to focus on what I do best- making improbable animated gifs of anal rape, and such. : ::: : yea baby. Make one of me getting busy with Katie Holmes. I look like a combination of Shaggy and Fred from Scooby Doo.

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