Smart man *nt*

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: : : Ladies and gentlemen, my wife. : : I've gotta say, for the record, that at the start of our relationship (and : : even now, from time to time), I, too, felt as Mark Cowling feels - that it : : seems myopic to focus on violence against one gender/race/whatever, when : : it's ALL violence that should be vanquished instead. Why say "Don't beat : : women," when the thought should be "Don't beat anybody"? I guess it was : : the Christian idealist in me thinking that if we broke ourselves into : : sub-groups less and thought of ourselves as one world more, there'd be less : : of an adversarial relationship between the sexes/races/creeds/etc. : : But after a lot of kicking and screaming on my behalf as I fought for the : : remaining safety and idealism of my microcosm that's - thankfully - never : : been rocked by hate and or violent crime, I finally 'heard' my wife on the : : subject of violence against women, and the inherent fear women feel in a : : society that allows rape to happen, and then demands that they prove it : : wasn't an invited act in a court of law. : : One in three women ARE raped - that's a statistical fact. And when Jen was : : able to break down my patriarchal blinders and my insistence that "It's : : violence against people, not women", I became sadder but wiser in regards : : to women's issues and more learned on the difference between 'societal : : issues' (shit that can happen to anybody) and 'women's issues' (shit that : : I'll never have to fear personally) in general. : : For example: I used to feel that I've only ever known two women who've been : : raped. How sad a thought is that? 'Only two'? Imagine saying "I've only : : known two people who were murdered." Or "I've only known two guys who've : : had their dicks brutally cut off against their will." Society's become so : : - not so much tolerant as - accepting of rape that someone like myself : : knows two people who've survived it and I've felt (at one point) that those : : are pretty low numbers. That's sad. : : One of the problems was having solely a male perspective on the subject of : : rape. Of course, I've always felt that rape was a horrible crime that no : : woman should have to experience. But it's such an abstract subject to me, : : as I'm a man. The only time rape is a very real threat to me is if I go to : : prison. All I have to do, then, is not go to jail, and I'll live a : : rape-threat-free life. But my wife, my daughter, your sister, your mother : : - rape, for them, is a constant threat that they can't help but fear when : : they wake up in the morning. Women can't simply avoid jail to avoid : : rape. To avoid all chances of rape, they have to avoid men in general. : : It's like living your life as a constant prisoner. : : Unless you're my wife, of course - who's made it her mission in life to a) : : never be the victim of anyone, let alone a man, and b) enlighten dumbasses : : like myself as to the gruesome stats regarding male on female violence. : : And after much denial (due to my desire to live in as hassle-free a world : : as possible), she got through to me. I used to play devil's advocate with : : her all the time (for example: there's a woman-beating joke made; she : : maintains that if it was made about blacks, jews, etc. that it wouldn't be : : socially acceptable; I point out that that was Bill Donohue's argument : : about 'Dogma'; she, rightfully, wants to strangle me for making such an : : absurd comparison, as a perceived insult to a faith does not compare to the : : very real numbers of women who are sexually assaulted and physically abused : : every day), but I can't anymore. Why play devil's advocate in the face of : : a problem that's so prevalent, one can't turn on the news or open a paper, : : or watch a movie or t.v. show without reading/seeing/hearing a story of : : male-on-female rape or abuse. The devil doesn't need an advocate anymore; : : he just needs to be stopped. : : Why am I suddenly so sensitive to this subject? : : Fuck, man - I have a daughter and a wife. And while I don't need to : : instruct my wife on the subject (as she's instructed me), I WILL be : : teaching my daughter that if any man lays a hand on her in a way that's not : : invited or overly aggressive, then she's to take the mother fucker's life. : : No questions asked, no exceptions made. It may not be a Christian : : approach, but what can I say? I'd rather have a daughter than a martyr. : : She'll never be a victim, if Jen or I can help it. : : So thanks, Boo - for everything you've given me, AND for teaching me : : something that I'm ashamed I didn't already know. I'm proud of you. You : : continue to rock my world, and I love you more than life. : : Am I whipped? Oh yeah. But am I complaining? Hell no. Why not? : : Because in addition to everything else, my wif

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