Posted by Darth Dobbin at 208-58-250-207.s461.tnt1.nwhv.ct.dialup.rcn.com on June 29, 2000 at 21:40:35:
In Reply to: A quest to capture My DVD from the Bearded whore posted by on June 29, 2000 at 21:23:12:
See, you wouldn't know this, but in the CHASING AMY DVD, there' a cut scene where Banky throws a garbage can thru a comic shop window, with a check for three times the damage, because he's "fucking rich."
In a similar fashion, I think it would be advisable for the VA team to take a collective dump in a box, fed-ex it to you (Jon Moody, right? You've given your "real name" many times in your initial pleading fanboy posts, before you became a scorned fanboy), with a check for the amount of the DVD, plus some money for the "emotional duress" of opening up a feces laden package.
Here's the kicker, though.. You are such a demented, scorned, love/hate creepizoid fan that you'd never cash the check, because it has that autograph you so desperately crave.
Anyway, Kev can lose weight, and he's a handsome guy. Chicks dig him. He's wildly successful, the world's his oyster, he's got a major franchise movie deal announced, and is doing what he loves. Oh, and he's happily (joyfully, if we are to believe his posts) married and has a beautiful daughter..
You, on the other hand,will always be a stumbling ass-biscuit, whether you are a scrawny boy or not.
: Iamnever going to use The Jay and Silent Bobs secret stash again! It's been so far 2 weeks since I sent my money in for the Chasing Amy DVD, and you guys haven't given me JACK SQUAT! I am very pissed off. I want my money back or I want the DVD NOW! Maybe if Kevin would take some time from buying sweat pants for his wardrobe, I can finally get the things I've paid for. I could have easily bought it from Amazon.com but no I thought View Askew would be a little faster and come with an autograph on the DVD. If Lord of the Dorks can't pull himself away from naming his children after cartoon characters long enough to sign my DVD I can always order it from someone who will ACTUALLY deliver it. You guys better give me my DVD. I paid my 35 dollars for a fucking DVD that I could have paid 27 dollars at my local KMART, and while I was there I could have bought something from the Kevin Smith Line of Clothing. And after the DVD and the Clothes I could have bought some Chewlies Gum and still been under 35. If Kevin can stop combing cookies from his beard long enough to read this letter then you are probably thinking that I'm a loser well, that may be so but at least I'm not the one who's a really really fat. Perhaps you can have Jerry Springer do a special where he knocks down the wall of your comic book shop and air lifts you to Jenny Craig. Then after you lose some weight you can waddle down to View Askew Productions and wrap you're chubby little digits around a pencil and sign my DVD before I die of old age. Snootchies bootchie...hahahaha.