Posted by geekrawk at spider-mtc-tc021.proxy.aol.com on July 07, 2000 at 05:40:34:
I just saw Chasing Amy for the first time this week (ok so I'm a little behind with seeing the films. what can I say? I'm a loser who never gets out to even go rent a movie.) and I was blown away because it just reminded me so much of shit I went through just a month ago. The differences are the girl isn't a lesbian and I didn't get her at all. But last month, I tell this girl what I've been holding in for 6 fucking months because first I was just a wuss, then she had a boyfriend, I tell her that I love her. This is big shit for me because I've never felt that way for someone before. But anyways, she gives me the 'I like you as a friend' bullshit. We're still friends after this and a week later I spend a day with her and a couple of her other friends. During the day I hear some shit I didn't want to hear and didn't need to know, and I get all depressed. I don't talk to her for a week and then when I do finally talk to her again I find out she has a new boyfriend, and I'm thinking 'Ok, I don't care. I don't have a reason to care, it's over and done with. It's not like I even went out with her' but it still gets to me for some reason, I don't know why. Then for a week she doesn't reply to my emails and I'm just confused about everything, 'am I her friend? why do I care if she has a boyfriend? why do I let things she did get to me, if I'm not even going out with her?' all that. Then that finally goes away and I just don't feel anything, 'she doesn't write back to me? oh well...fuck it. she doesn't care about me why should I care about her?' Then I try to be optimistic, and she still doesn't write back to me so my optimism is squashed. Then I see Chasing Amy, and I'm going 'holy shit...that reminds me of me'. And the scene with Jay and Silent Bob in the diner...is just like...an epiphany. It just becomes clear to me why I care and why it gets to me. That scene gave me more answers in that couple of minutes then I ever got by just sitting and thinking about it. That shit still bothers me, but not like it used to. Now I'm just trying to figure a way for me to get the answers from circling around in my head, if I get in contact with her...which I'll probably try and do today due to lack of anything else better to do. But I'd just like to thank Kevin, one for making kick ass movies, and two for helping me figure all that shit out. Kevin, if you read this, you fucking rock. Thanks a lot.
richard