Posted by Sarcasmo at tpk-206-211-4.networksplus.net on July 20, 2000 at 16:50:19:
In Reply to: Re: ok i know i'll get smacked for this one but....... posted by Sarcasmo on July 20, 2000 at 16:44:40:
: : could i get some input on what i have so far.......
: It's pretty funny. Some of the dialogue sounds awfully familiar and I know I've heard a couple of those names before....but all in all it's not bad. Not the most interesting story I've read but it has its moments, like the one below. Just pep it up a little bit and I'd love to read the rest of it.
:
: : : Alyssa: " oh, hi, y'know i think i know everyone here, but i don't think i've met you."
: : Dave:"well, now, here's your chance. (smiles) i'm Dave. (extends his hand)
: : Alyssa: "and i'm Alyssa."(accepts his hand and shakes it)
: : Dave: "so, (half smile) do you come here often?"(full smile)
: : Alyssa: " DAVE, could that be a pick up line?"
: : Dave: (pulls back)no, of course not! (shakes his head) so, what's you sign?"
: : she laughs
: : Alyssa: " and i thought i was gonna get the usual barrage of pick up lines here."
: : Dave: " which are?"
: : Alyssa: " oh, i don't know how 'bout, is that a mirror in your pocket, 'cause i can see
: : myself in your pants, and crap like that."
: : Dave: " oh, no i go for the much more sensative ones like how 'bout a pizza and a fuck?"
: : Alyssa: (playing along) " exuse me?"
: : Dave: " what? you don't like pizza?"
: : both laugh
: