Posted by TheDanOfSteel at spider-tl043.proxy.aol.com on November 11, 2000 at 05:28:35:
Just cruised into here after scouring every corner of the net for that elusive piece of information on VA5, or, if we're to believe Kevin and co., "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back". I ran across an interesting website, www.hollywoodhookerinsider.org, where details of upcoming releases are obtained and posted for the world to see. Seems the means for obtaining this information involve hollywood harlots soliciting the details from filmmakers in exhange for sexual favors. No details about the actual acts performed, but this informed fan has a strong suspicion that anal is often involved. Its amazing how much inside information a famous Hollywood filmmaker will divulge for a rimjob, it seems, as the list of directors on the site reads like an oscar ballot for Best Picture. Kubrick, Scorcese, Spielberg (Christ Steve, what the hell is Buccoci??), Stone, Holland. The list goes on. And as you've probably guessed by now, everyone's favorite writer/director with a flair for the dick and fart genre fits right in among the legends like a fruitcake in Fire Island. Seems Mr. Smith had himself quite the trip to L.A. recently, for "casting" of course. Long story short, 2 eight-balls of coke and a fifth of Jack Daniels later Kevin's in a monkey suit with a 6 foot Polish sausage and two shemale midgets. Hijinks ensued and the "little people" came back with the following:
NOVEMBER 4
Hollywood, CA.
Boy oh boy, will all the fanboys be upset when they get wind of this one! It looks like ole' Smitty was really pulling the wool over all our eyes with the real title and plot for his upcoming fifth edition to the NJ Trilogy (huh?). Me and my girl cut this joker's coke with a few crushed Viagras and he was spilling his guts like a Vietmanese POW pumped full of white chyna. Seems the real title of the movie will be "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Gold", and the plot will involve to city boys who find a map to some gold bars in an old hat. Two rented donkeys and some peyote later, these two characters meet up with a gruff old cowboy and set out for riches (Mr. T is in negotiations for the cowboy role). Then this girl fucks a dead guy in a darkened toilet stall. That's all we could get before this chump went into a narcotic-induced coma, so we just stole $150 from his wallet (cheap fucker) and called it a night.
--Monika and "Wee" Sally
shemale midgets
I know i'm stoked guys. Indeed.
--JerseyPuma
Insert offensive ASCII art here
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