Posted by WADE at ool-18bc3481.dyn.optonline.net on November 29, 2000 at 23:59:40:
>>>>Is it really him or some jackass ??
from Warren Ellis' message boards ( http://www.delphi.com/ellis )--
Topic Name- NON-NEWS: Kevin Smith Slaps Peter David
From: SMITHKEVIN 9:54 pm
To: Warren Ellis (WARRENELLIS) unread 40 of 54
9273.40 in reply to 9273.33
: I really, really have to get out of this business.
And there are so many folks banging down your door, aren't there, sir?
Jeez - a guy gets a little ink in Entertainment Weekly and Rolling Stone ("little" being the key word) and he's filled with delusions of grandeur. Some minor mainstream American press, and he thinks he's as masterful a writer as Moore, Gaiman, Morrison, Ennis, or Millar.
I wouldn't quit my day job just yet if I were you, sir. The comics field will always need the standard, self-styled arbiter-of-cool, pontificating on what everyone's doing wrong and sounding the death knell for the industry. You know - the run-of-the-mill jackass who flames brightly for a moment (mostly because he or she has lit him- or herself on fire, begging people to notice, since he or she lacks any real or impressive sales numbers that might otherwise warrant honestly earned attention), then smolders out quietly, a forgotten pile of ashes.
"...get out of this business?" As long as all seventeen of your readers are still blowing smoke up your ass, I'd bet my life that you'll always opt to be the slightly-more-than-average guppy in the small pond (the ocean being a little too treacherous for you to hazzard a go at).
:>>
: Nah. Shit there always got settled swiftly with fists, feet and/or weapons and then everything was back to normal.
Somehow, I can't see you mixing it up with anybody, sir - unless it's from the safety of your home, via the internet. But I'm game. My prediction? In a minute and a half, your "I Want To Be Alan So Badly"-beard is matted with the ooze that courses through your black heart, and dotted with your fronts.
Beating the crap out of you (personally or professionally) would be akin to bringing coals to Newcastle (in the parlance of your countrymen).
Kevin Smith
***In response to this original post***
: Warren Ellis (WARRENELLIS) 5:39 pm
To: ALL 1 of 54
9273.1
This is funny enough to reprint -- and, since it's a public posting on a public forum, I think it's fair game to report here.
To set this up: Peter David is hunting Kevin Smith down across message boards because Kevin Smith allegedly made a negative comment about Peter someplace or other. When Peter didn't get satisfaction on Smith's own message board, he went to Chuck Dixon's board because he'd heard Smith was posting there, and demanded satisfaction. Was Kevin Smith making negative comments about Peter David?
Read on.
I really, really have to get out of this business.
-- Warren
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Kevin Smith
Forgive me, Chuck
Wed Nov 29 14:19:32 2000
>
Fans claim a lot of things. Non-fans claim even more.
>
You were on my board? When?
>
Had I ever noticed you popping in on my board, I'd've most certainly responded.
>
Do you really want me to? Honestly?
Okay, then - here, for the world to see, if my (former) beef with Peter David.
God, this is embarrassing...
I've read your column in the CBG for years now, and you come off as really condescending. While no great fan of those you've gone after (provoked or otherwise), I found your holier-than-thou take on everything and everyone (from Image and McFarlane, to the Savage Dragon guy and your self-aggrandizing regaling of how darned amusing you find yourself to be at your comic book show panels) insufferable. Granted, I could've simply stopped reading the CBG, but I was obsessed with seeing just how much coverage of Scrooge McDuck they could offer annually. And in doing so, your column was hard to avoid - especially when my interest waned from gauging the volume of Barks coverage, to finding out who else you seemed to feel you were better than (professionally) on a weekly basis.
But you crossed a line one day when, following the San Diego ComiCon in '95, you offered up a mini-review of 'Mallrats'. Granted, it wasn't very harsh; but in a matter of five lines, you managed to earn my ire nonetheless by saying of the film "It's a movie I would've enjoyed if I were still in college."
Your condescension, sir, that I had witnessed turned on so many others was now turned on me and mine. But what really bugged me about your dismissive review was that I sat directly behind you in that screening and watched you and your wife laugh your heads off throughout the flick (not at it, mind you; with it). And in light of that, you had the audacity to make your comment? YOU! The man who doesn't write comic book scripts so much as he strings together really bad puns? The man who wrote an entire column about attempting to use his Writer's Guild I.D. to get into a SUBURBAN screening of an Oscar contender, and then portrayed the ticket counter employee as a boob because he or she had no clue what you were getting at (for the uninitiated: Writer's Guild and Director's Guild members can use their I.D. cards to get into BIG CITY screenings - Manhattan and L.A. - of flicks that are up for Oscars; in one of Peter's columns, he described attempting to do this in a LONG ISLAND movie theater and then groused about the employee's inability to process his request as if it was the employee's fault, when in reality, it was not a theater which honored the WGA policy, as Long Island is not Manhattan)? The man who wrote about getting the cover of Variety for his 'Space Cases' show like it was some high honor, but neglected to mention it was the TV sales conference issue of Variety for which anybody who PAYS can secure the cover (which is what the sales agent of 'Space Cases' had done).
If in your column, you want to trade in half-truths and grandstanding, that's your business. And if I insist on reading it like an idiot, that's my problem. But the day you wrote of my film as beneath you - well, that was when your business BECAME my problem. And so I started taking shots at you - like a porn actor at a porn actress' back.
But that was long ago.
Since you asked, yes - I believe I DID say that I wanted no part of a '10 Best' list which also featured you. But I don't think I've ever maintained that you attacked me in print or in person. When people asked (and there were very few who even cared) why I seemed to rag on you so much, I offered only "I don't like him." In fact, I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've taken my juvenile rant on the subject public (here, of all places; again - my apologies, Chuck; I would never have stained your board again, had not Scott McCullar directed me to this post).
But as juvenile as it may be, it's old news. I'm no longer concerned with you, Peter. You might've noticed that I haven't said anything about you in many a moon - dating back to when you and your wife broke up (because, while I'm many things, I'm not the kind of motherf*cker who'll kick a motherf*cker when he's down). Whatever ill will I held toward you has long-since vanished. I guess I kind of grew up... or at least found bigger fish to fry.
So there it is. Question asked, and question answered.
I'm almost certain I'm going to regret this in the morning.
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