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: Juuuuuuuuust one : The jewel thieves are not the CLIT. : The CLIT does not exist. : Other then that you got it pretty damn good my man. : : Do I really need to tell you there are spoilers? : : : : : Title card reads: : : View Askew Productions presents: : : (Danny Elfman-ish music throughout) : : Shot of Brodie inside comic book store. : : Brodie: "Oh my god. Don't tell me you have no idea there's a movie being made of the comic you two were the basis for!" : : Jay: "WWHHHAATTT??" : : Shot of Jay and Bob in Holden’s apartment. : : Jay: "Where's our motherfuckin movie check"? : : Holden: "The buzz indicated that movie is going to make some HUGE bank" : : Jay: "What buzz?" : : Holden: "The internet buzz" : : Jay: "What the FUCK is the internet?" : : Holden reads from moviepoopshoot.com. : : "Bluntman and Chronic is the worst comic I ever read. Fuck Jay and Silent Bob. Fuck them up their stupid asses" : : Jay: "Who the fuck said that shit?" : : Holden: "He calls himself Magnolia Fan" : : Jay: "Well fuck that. We gotta put a stop to these fuckin' hateful sons o bitches before they ruin our good names". : : *Techno-rock music kicks in* : : : quick cuts: : : George Carlin going down on a guy that looks like Will Sasso. : : Jay humps a convenience store door : : Eliza Dushku fondles her boobies : : Jay and Bob peer down an air shaft : : Jay and Bob in costume as Bluntman and CHronic with a "Take One" guy infront of them. : : the blonde chick (not shannon elizabeth) pulls a knife out, with Jennifer S. in the background. : : Shannon Elizabeth giggling. : : Randal running through a field screaming. : : Dante being lobotomized, Hannibal-style, by some apes. Also screamimg. : : Shannon and Eliza in a cat fight : : Silent Bob, Suzanne and Jay gasp. : : Silent Bob lights up his Blunt Saber : : Jay smooches Bob on the cheek : : Shot of the C.L.I.T. looking hot in catsuits : : Will Ferell falling down a dam and Jay, SB and suzanne hold on to a pipe. (Wasn't this in the comic book?) Blonde chick and Jennifer flip toward the craft service table at a movie set. : : Shot of the Scooby Gang. Scooby barks. : : Jay says "Zoinks, yo." : : JSB run into a matte painting at a movie studio a la Wile E. Coyote. : : Jay says "I hate how fake Hollywood is" : : "STRIKE BACK AUGUST 24th, 2001" : : Diedrich Bader: "And after it's all over, you say Oo what a lovely tea party!" : : www.viewaskew.com : : end. : : **If anyone finds any errors in this transcription, well I don't give a shit. : : Just kidding, amend away. : : ~mark

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