Damn that's frickin long!!! :-) *nt*

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: : : : http://www.geocities.com/smoflow/ : : hidden rebel message board located on 2nd page, under YOUR SERVE... : : Master Smith, : : I have waited for this day for a long, long time. My feature film project, PING PONG: the MOTION PICTURE, is upon us. I : : am going head to head with the big boys on the weekend of JULY 4. That is how confident I am in my concept and the end : : result of years of hard work. : : I wanted you to be one of the first to know, cuz I will be seeing you guys on the festival circuit, at the panels and at the awards : : ceremonies, very soon. And your CHASING AMY site was used as a model for this, my first real attempt at a webpage. :) : : If you fail me on this, Kevin Smith, it will be the last time. Screw this up, and I will become more powerful than you can ever : : imagine... : : One other note of interest: Kevin, almost every single day of my life, for the past four or five years, people mistake me for you : : or silent Bob, or especially, DANTE HICKS. I can't hardly stand it. I mean, I live in Lexington, Kentucky, for chrissakes! : : Personally, I look more like CHARLIE SHEEN, but anyway, it is flattering. I will send you a video clip or pic sometime. : : : : ME, MYSELF & IRENE: : : I am the writer, director, cinematographer, editor, producer, stunt coordinator, webmaster, and international jack-of-all trades : : for PING PONG: the MOTION PICTURE. : : It is legit, it is the real deal. I would especially like to link to VIEWASKEW, if possible. : : Where do I begin? : : I was born and raised in Frankfort, Ky. I was a "gifted" child, winning all the art contests in school, considered by peers and : : teachers to be the best writer, built a robot for Olympics of the Mind, first chair trombone in band, straight A's, basketball star, : : president of National Honor Society, secretary of this and that, blah, blah, blah. : : Then I went to college reluctantly at the University of Kentucky, and my dream, my vision to make movies that affect people as : : much as Stanley Kubrick, fell by the wayside for a year. I began to study psychology, and everybody said I would be a good : : lawyer or politician. But inside, the creative flame burned incessantly, and I knew that whenever I was being creative in my life, : : everything seemed to go well. My life was "balanced" and it felt complete. : : Like each of you, I am a simple storyteller at heart. Nothing more, nothing less. : : Well, I didn't graduate from college. I quit. Middle of my junior year. I quit listening to the wet blanket tossers, my critics : : (parents, friends, teachers, etc), and I vowed to do it all myself. : : I was recently tested and I qualified for Mensa. I have an IQ higher than Spielberg's, higher than Sharon Stone's, not sure about : : Quentin (is he 160?). : : All of this is irrelevant and doesn't mean squat. Straight-A's never made ANYBODY rich, that much is certain. I only wanted : : to illustrate that I've paid my dues. Also, I went through the most terrifying experience of my life about four years ago. I had a : : nervous breakdown of sorts, and was put in Charter Ridge for almost 3 weeks! Whilst there, I was subjected to all sorts of : : meds -- the most powerful pharmaceuticals known to man.... and this was all new to a guy who has never truly been drunk, : : who doesn't smoke pot or cigarettes, and is generally pretty healthy at 6'3", 215lbs (though one year ago I weighed over : : 275lbs!). : : I had two, what I would consider, NDE's (near death experiences) that spring. It changed my life forever. It humbled me, it : : taught me about the upside and downside to everything, it made me aware of the speedbumps and hurdles of life, that everyone : : needs to experience in order to really live. : : I was initially diagnosed with manic depression (hey, FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA, ROBIN WILLIAMS), but recently I : : underwent an extensive analysis, lots and lots of tests, and now, they can't find anything "wrong" with me. ;) : : Of course, I am crazy. I can assure you of that. As crazy as any of you guys and more. : : And that is at the heart of PING PONG: the MOTION PICTURE. Obviously, it is an action-comedy/satire, in the vein of : : everything the Coens have ever done, etc. Think KING PIN, think BIG LEBOWSKI. It is CLERKS/MALLRATS set in the : : world of FIGHTCLUB.... And NO, I was not thinking any of this when I wrote it. I promise. Think: this is gonna be even more : : fun! : : Who hasn't wielded a simple table tennis paddle at least once in their life? Who wouldn't like to be Ray Parks for a day and use : : my newly designed, DOUBLE-BLADED PING PONG PADDLE to wage mortal combat? : : I will only reveal a few things: there is a matrix shot in my movie... freeze frame in ping pong ball mid-flight. Also, the opening : : scene is an homage to DIE HARD, KICKBOXER (et al): : : Korea, 1968... an underground cockfighting arena... two men are playing the most epic, intense game of table tennis every : : filmed... : : they are bare chested and bare foot... and they are playing on... broken glass. : : blood, chunks of flesh and ping pong balls, are flying everywhere. : : And this is just the opening pre-credits sequence. : : I am currently going through negotiations out the yazoo... financing, distribution, agents, prodco's, actors, attorneys, etc. : : I really want Owen Wilson and/or Will Ferrell in this movie. Or how about ANY OF YOU GUYS? Jay, Kevin, Jason, anyone : : who would like to participate in an all-digital production. It will most likely be shot on T.I'.s new digital movie maker. That is : : my plan. : : I will keep you posted every step of the way. And I would be most honored if you would feature a little something on your : : website about my exploits and the adventure that is making this film come true. : : Keep up the phenomenal work! See you on the festival panels... : : Brad SMOTHERMON : : aka ZANDHOKAN, lord of the Sith : : p.p.s. the website was my first attempt at building one from scratch, all by my lonesome. Like Stanley Kubrick and yourself, I : : am a perfectionist, and I relish creative control over even the most arcane details of my projects. : : it just went online at about 4:30 am Saturday, and already the thing has exploded. Please check out the message board on page : : two and drop a line. You can find it by clicking on YOUR SERVE or the animated paddle. : : I will link to your site(s) immediately upon hearing confirmation from you guys. : : Best of luck with the animated series. I am looking forward to it.

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