Posted by Silenter-Bob at 157-pool1.ras10.nynyc.tii-dial.net on October 29, 2001 at 20:00:46:
Ok, here is a dialogue I wrote for my screen play today about what happens when you meet an angry machine (no it doesn't talk. Mabye I'll get the character stoned...) Read and please comment! Thank you!
Scene
(JACK and a friend walk onto the screen. JACK is holding a one dollar bill in his hand and finishing a story of an odd happening.)
JACK
And then you’ll never guess what happened!
FRIEND
What?
JACK
He fell out of the window!
FRIEND
What?
JACK
Yeah, Mr. Rogers Man and him had a fight, and he just went
(JACK makes a falling noise and moves his finger as if it’s falling towards his open hand, then claps his hands together.)
Splat!
FRIEND
What a tragic way to go…
JACK
Eh, Quatreman was psycho and deserved it.
They approach a Pepsi machine. JACK inserts his dollar bill and hits the Pepsi button on the machine, then turns to his friend.
JACK
It makes you wonder though.
FRIEND
What?
JACK
The power of teddy bears.
FRIEND
Huh?
JACK
Well, his wallpaper was just teddy bears. All around him.
FRIEND
If I was him, I’d have gone insane, too.
JACK
Yeah.
(JACK turns back to the Pepsi machine and hits the Pepsi button again. Pause.)
Son of a BITCH!
FRIEND
What?
JACK
I hate this Pepsi machine!
FRIEND
What? What happened??
JACK
It ate my dollar!
FRIEND
The dollar you just put in?
JACK
Yeah! That stupid machine!
(JACK kicks the machine)
GIVE ME MY PEPSI!
FRIEND
Put in another dollar.
JACK
No! I want my Pepsi from the original dollar!
FRIEND
Then hit the refund button and insert in quarters.
JACK
Fine.
(JACK hits the button. Nothing happens.)
Oh, that did a whole lot!
BOY
Excuse me? I’d like to get a Pepsi, so if you’re just going to stand there-
JACK
Piss off! The stupid machine just ate my dollar!
BOY
Hit the refund button.
JACK
I DID!
BOY
Then just move along in line.
JACK
Oh, so it can eat your dollar too?
BOY
Just move, please!
(JACK moves aside. The BOY walks over the machine and puts in his dollar. He hits the Pepsi button. Change is heard and a Pepsi falls out of the machine. The BOY reaches in, grabs his Pepsi and the quarter from the machine. He turns to JACK)
It doesn’t LOOK like theres a problem.
JACK
Just shut up and get out of here!
BOY
Why don’t you ask me nicely?
JACK
How about I hit you in the face and take your Pepsi?
FRIEND
Dude, that’s a little harsh.
JACK
Like I care! I want a Pepsi!
BOY
If I buy you one, will you pay me the dollar back?
JACK
No, because I allready wasted my dollar in there!
BOY
Your loss.
(The BOY leaves.)
JACK
(Turns to Pepsi machine)
You may have one this time, but I WILL be back! I promise you that, you piece of shit.
FRIEND
Dude, your talking to a machine.
JACK
Shut up!