Posted by Duffless at hide101.suffolk.edu on February 06, 2002 at 16:38:22:
In Reply to: The Penis Asks for a Raise posted by Glitterbat3113 on February 06, 2002 at 16:33:41:
: I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
: I do physical labor.
: I work at great depths.
: I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
: I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
: I work in a damp environment. I don’t get paid overtime.
: I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
: I work in high temperatures.
: My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
: ............................................................
: Dear Penis,
: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
: You do not work 8 hours straight.
: You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
: You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
: You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
: You do not take initiative; you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
: You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
: You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
: You will retire well before you are 65.
: You are unable to work double shifts.
: You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task.
: And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
: Sincerely, The Management