Posted by jrinck at unknown-62-254.xilinx.com on April 01, 2002 at 16:05:11:
The classic bit, updated for the new millenium:
Silent Bob: (gestures about wanting to go to New York to see a Yankee game. Twenty minute game of "Charades" deleted for brevity.)
Jay: Wow, that's a pretty fuckin' awesome idea, dude!
Silent Bob: (shrugs)
Jay: You know, I used to coach Little League until they caught me smoking a big fat one while coaching third base.
Silent Bob: (nods in agreement)
Jay: Oh, that's right, you were there behind the plate calling balls and strikes. You called too many balls and started to scare me. I thought you turned faggot on me or something
Silent Bob: (smiles)
Jay: Fuck off, dude! I'm not joking anymore, you god-damned pole sucker! Anyway, who the hell was that psycho dude who played first base for my team? Do you know? Who was on first?
Silent Bob: (nods yes)
Jay: Ok, then, who the fuck was it?
Silent Bob: (nods yes again, with force)
Jay: What the fuck is this Abbot and Costello bullshit? Who's on first?
Silent Bob: (pissed, shakes his head yes)
Jay: Look asshole, you tell me that you know who's on first, then you don't tell me. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about! Ass!
Silent Bob: (holds up three fingers)
Jay: What the fuck is that? Do you want to three-finger me or something?
Silent Bob: (looks puzzled)
Jay? What?
Silent Bob: (holds up two fingers)
Jay: Fuck off, I can take three fingers. Now back to first base. Who's on first?
Silent Bob: (nods yes)
Jay: Back to that shit again! Fuck first, what was that fuck who played second? The guy stole my shit once.
Silent Bob: (nods yes)
Jay: You're fucked in the head, dude. Do you know who played third?
Silent Bob: (nods yes)
Jay: Then tell me, ass lick! I don't know!
Silent Bob: (nods yes emphatically)
Jay: What the fuck are you talking about, shit stain? Just tell me the names of the assholes on my team!
Silent Bob: (grabs Jay and shouts) Listen cum-quat, I already told your sorry ass! Who is on first, what is on second, and I don't know is on third! Get it through your thick fucking skull and drop it!
Jay: OK, I will! Sorry. But I still think you're a fucking faggot!