Posted by Pimped-Out-Jedi-Knight at webcacheb07a.cache.pol.co.uk on May 21, 2002 at 10:40:57:
In Reply to: Need some feedback on my novel posted by The Bastard (ebas420) on May 21, 2002 at 10:35:14:
...but aside from that, it's pretty good ;-) I might make a couple of changes to the first paragraph, but that's mostly because I'm a nit-picking bastard. Do you have any more you can show us? And how far have you got with your novel?
: So as some or all of you know, when you're writing a book, you have to grab the reader on the first page. These next two paragraphs are the first two paragraphs in my second book. PLease read it and tell me what you think. I welcome criticism as it is helpful, say what you will as long it's constructive. Thank you in advance for your time.
: The big question I'd liek you all to answer: If you read these next two paragraphs on the first page of a book, would you want to read more?
: *
:
: If Daniel Rimms had known what the coming days and weeks had in store, he would have hung himself to avoid the pain. If he'd known of the violence and loss that loomed on the horizon, he could have taken steps to avoid it. But he didn't know, and in his search for the truth, he stepped into his fate...however terrible it might be.
: He did know the station wagon was still there, parked across the street, half a block down. Was he about to be shot? Arrested perhaps? Daniel hoped it was nothing more than a coincidence and his paranoia, but inside he knew better.