Posted by elsa at 212.18.191.117 on August 09, 2002 at 09:51:43:
Dear Mr. Smith:
I´m sending you this email with a letter that was refused...AGAIN!
There´s someone in your office who doesn´t like me. Definitely!!
A small furtive glance...and they refuse them.Oh, Gosh!! The world is lost!!!
So, I have no choice. I have to send you this email.( I hate " internet"- just for working- and all these things, but...Here I am!)
...
Lisbon,the 21st July 2002
Dear Mr. Smith:
Here I am AGAIN!I Know I´m breaking my promise AGAIN, but I swear ( AGAIN!) this time will be the last one. You can believe it!
There´s a noble reason for these lines and I have to share it with you.
As I told you before I use to read your column in ARENA and it is because of this that I´m writing to you. Your 3 last column ( June, July and August)are so, so, SO, SO funny and brilliant that I couldn´t avoid this letter. I had to write to you. Yes, I had! I laughed almost until death! ( AH!AH!AH!) I can see myself in each word you wrote.
...
But first of all I want to say something: Your wife is a lucky woman for having a MAN like you sharing a life with her. And your little girl - Harley-...Your little girl is, undoubtedly, a fortunate kid because of you!!
...
My second point is about your June´s column: I don´t Know if you know, because I don´t remember if I told you before, but I´m addicted on movies.Sometimes I wanna go to the movie theater and I can´t because I´ve already seen all of them. Every Friday there´s a Premiere and I use to go. MULHOLLAND DRIVE was not the exception but the rule, which means that I already saw that movie. And I would like to say that, like you, " when the credits started rolling, I didn´t get that at all. At that point I was just LOST; very, very lost." Your article had the merit of calming my soul.I´m not the only one!I´m not the only fucking idiot, ignorant and stupid! UFF!Great!
(After all this time I´m still looking for the girl- the one who disappeared.Do you remember? Where is she? It must have been magic!!)
...
I would like to propose you something: If you want, you can join me and we´ll set up a FOUNDATION with this amazing name:" LYNCH´S COMPLEX FOUNDATION"- for those who can´t sleep because of Lynch´s movies and have a big inferiority complex because they can´t understand his movies,and every morning when they wake up the first thing they use to ask is: " Am I really DUMB and STUPID?"
With this FOUNDATION they would have therapy and, certainly, they would improve their quality of life.
What do you think, buddy?
( How can a guy live without understanding Lynch´s movies?It´s impossible, buddy!Impossible!We have to do something!!)
...
And if you still want" to break down Ron Howard´s front door, grab the oscar he´d just stolen, and present it to the guy who really deserved it instead", you can count on me! I´ll go there with you.Yes, I will!! I already bought black gloves and a mask. Are you ready for this mission, "Mr.Silent Bob"? (AH!AH!AH!)
...
And now I´m about to leave...But before I´d like to wish you a great, GREAT, GREAT " SUMMER"...time!Enjoy it, buddy! ( And, obviously,keep your column up!)
See you on heaven!
Kisses,
Elsa
PS1-" There are MEN who fight...EVER and EVER.
Those are the one we can´t prescind!"
Brecht
KEEP BEING ONE OF THEM!
PS2-So..."Our buddy" is your daughter´s hero!
UM...
( I´ve read about his romance with...you Know!!! This is the best way to forget a guy- Forever and Ever!)
PS3- I didn´t go to "Spider-Man"´s Premiere. I was busy, I had no time and I missed it!
I just saw the movie after reading your July´s column, and I followed your advice: I let my mind and my soul free and " the movie made me feel like a kid again." Even though " David Koepp´s bad dialogue"! ( AH!AH!AH!)
Thank you!
PS4- Just now I realized that your birthday will be next month- August-( Enjoy that day!) and we have the same age! COOL!
1970- Our year!! The best one! Right,buddy? Right!!!
That´s why you are a SPECIAL and GREAT guy!
I knew there was something special! ( AH!AH!AH!)