Posted by Thumper at sarc2a230.snip.net on August 24, 2002 at 15:33:08:
Posted on Sat, Aug. 24, 2002
Vine-ripened Jersey Girls
J. Lo may star in the new movie, but she's no J. G. Genuine Jersey tomatoes have gritty, pretty, city-savvy appeal - there's nothing hothouse about them.
By Nancy Polhemus Savoth
For The Inquirer
SARAH J. GLOVER / Inquirer
At the Shore, Jersey Girls defend their men and their space.
My friend Doris called to read me the advance publicity of the Kevin Smith movie Jersey Girl, which will start principal shooting here on Monday.
"Jennifer Lopez?" we both said at the same time.
Doris and I have a secret solidarity. Having grown up in Neptune, next to Asbury Park in central New Jersey, and now finding ourselves transplanted in Philadelphia suburbs, we're protective of our combination strip-mall/clam-digger roots. So after admitting we couldn't believe Smith - who directed Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing Amy (his self-described New Jersey trilogy) - didn't call either of us, let's just say we took exception. Any Jersey Girl would.
We reacted too quickly. I've since learned that Smith's semiautobiographical Jersey Girl is about his daughter and how his life changed when she came into it. Lopez (a Bronx Girl, we should note) plays her mother, but Jersey Girl starring Jennifer Lopez! Let's set the record straight.
What is a Jersey Girl?
It all started with a song. Not until Tom Waits put "Jersey Girl" into poetry and Bruce Springsteen reiterated its passion did we understand why so many men have "crossed the river to the Jersey side." It's hard to believe that anything good about the Garden State could have surfaced after all the jokes through the years, but "Jersey Girl" put us on the babe map. Before that, summers came and went, and even those who lived or vacationed at the Jersey Shore could only dutifully bob their heads in time with the Beach Boys' "I wish they all could be California girls."
The Jersey Girl mystique is hard to put into words. One would never say earthy - that's way too California. Gritty gets closer when you understand that a true Jersey Girl sleeps just fine with sand in the bed, but the definition still falls shorter than a pair of faded cutoffs.
The characteristic confidence comes from having swiveled many bar stools to hear every bad pickup line out there. But let's get real. Hey, that's it! Southern girls, California girls - not real. Jersey Girls - real. Having an edge is a good thing. Have you ever heard a song about Connecticut girls?
Jersey Girls come from towns named Brick, Wall, Neptune, Mount Holly and Cherry Hill, and don't think that's funny. Try this, J.Lo: I don't know where your Jersey Girl character is from, but you should know that Jersey Girls learn the ways of the world from their proximity to the Big Apple and Philadelphia, but we don't like those city girls stealing our men, or more important, our beach space.
Jersey Girls go to the beach, or "down the Shore." They're not formal. "Casual attire" means shoes and bras optional. Many are blond, and although we may have colored our hair for 20 years, "the sun lightened it." We have perfected the lost art of tanning, and know how to drive a traffic circle with attitude. We know good corn and tomatoes when we taste them, and we're never afraid to dance.
Most important, every Jersey Girl has a story to tell about Springsteen. Like how she once clapped all her rings flat and her palms raw at a concert, having previously camped out all night in line for tickets. Or how she saw him in line at the PetsMart buying dog bones. Or, in my case, how I spent hours waiting with a cherished backstage pass just to give him a kiss and tell him I was from Neptune.
Our Bruce married a redheaded woman and that's OK, since she went to Asbury Park High School and gets her highlights from the sun. He was confused in an earlier marriage. Where was she from? It wasn't N.J.
Kevin Smith would know. He knows everything about New Jersey, and I can't wait to see what he reveals about its women. I'm available to do coaching, but this really can't be taught. You see, you can take the girl out of Jersey but you can't take the Jersey out of the girl, nor can you put it in. Bruce, Tom, my husband, John, and a few others will tell you it's a mysteriously potent mix of all these traits that makes them exclaim: "Nothing matters in the whole wide world when you're in love with a Jersey Girl. Sha la la la la la la... "