Posted by VioLenT BoB (Dr.J0nes) at njtnt-1-93.dialup.enter.net on December 09, 2002 at 04:56:07:
In Reply to: Update: on situation, times running out posted by Ember on December 09, 2002 at 04:18:43:
of this wishy-washy bullshit. My mother had two men in her life. The 'boyfriend' and the 'on-again-off-again' boyfriend from high school. She couldn't get the latter out of her system. Ever. By some strange chance of dates, situation, etc. My father was the former. My mother could not marry my father because she knew she couldn't promise monogamy if the latter ever came around again. Which he did until I was 10 years old and my mother was damn near into her fifties.
This latter would never marry ever. So he said for thirty five years. My mother finally couldn't take him anymore though she never stopped loving him. Meanwhile, once my mom refused to marry him my Dad split, he married some hick heifer seventeen years his junior and moved three thousand miles away.
So after my mother and the 'on-again-off-again' ex were finally through. He moved to florida and was married months later. He is still with his wife. My mother never got married and my father got divorced 10 years after his nuptials.
Today both my Father and my Mother are miserable and effectively alone (family and friends withstanding; you know what I mean). They were right for each other, they both knew it, but even I (the baby) wasn't enough to prevail over the other's sides green grass. She followed her hope instead of her heart and ruined her own life, my father's, and probably inflicted horrible damage upon my perceptions of relationships. You try thinking you were another immaculate conception until you were six years old (she didn't ever tell me that. She's not nuts. But when you go to Catholic school a year early, and you don't have a dad, you kind of draw your own conclusions.)
The point of this little parable is simple. The advice you gave her is the best for her. She may not take it. But fuck why don't you have a nice quiet evening at home with her. Get some chocolate ice cream, rent "When Harry Met Sally" and try to explain to her the difference between Attraction and Chemistry.
Attractions happen between Magnets where one is positive and one is negative...they're drawn to each other, but those positive and negative polarities can easily reverse and repel the two magnets in opposite directions. Chemistry on the other hand, never changes. It may switch states, and compound in certain circumstances with other objects and situations, but you'll get the same results every time if you do it right.
VB
Jesus its late and all of a sudden I'm a confessionalist pontificator.