Posted by fireburns at msp.woodruffcenter.org on January 29, 2003 at 21:04:02:
any feedback is appreciated.
thanks
c
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1. interior-countertop-day
countertop with window behind it. focus is upon the counter and
storefront window is blurred, still alowing sunlight to pour
in. walls are light pastel yellow.
a hand places a bottle of vinegar on the counter. there is
something small and silver at the bottom of the bottle.
Andy (v.o.)
I'm like a bottle of vinegar with a
Hershey's kiss at the bottom. Seriously,
I am. I've had some bad things happen to
me over my life, and they've sort of layered
themselves on to who I am.
vinegar bottle disappears. an oyster appears on the counter.
Andy (v.o.)
They layered themselves on like that slimy
stuff...
hands dump a bucket of sand mixed with slimy goo.
Andy (v.o.)
...over a grain of sand in an oyster.
Wait, that would mean I’m like a pearl.
a hand digs a pearl out of the goo, presenting it to the
camera.
Andy (v.o.)
Ok, scratch that.
hand tosses the pearl aside and pulls back out of frame. the
mess disappears.
Andy (v.o.)
My problems...
hand appears with an unwrapped lollipop.
Andy (v.o.)
...layered themselves on to me like
fuzz on a lollipop...
lollipop now has fuzz all over it.
Andy (v.o.)
...that had been dropped under a sofa.
the hand and lollipop disappear. a sofa appears in it's place,
with the focus upon the seam where two cushions meet together.
a hand appears pulling back the edge of one of the cushions
revealing the same fuzzy lollipop underneath. the hand picks up
the lollipop.
Andy (v.o.)
There we go.
2. exterior office building-day
camera is Andy's P.O.V.- a hand is seen opening a door and
holding it so an attractive young woman can exit.
Andy (v.o.)
Deep down, I’m a good person.
people are now coming through the door non-stop forcing Andy to
hold the door open without a chance of him getting through.
Andy (v.o.)
I open doors for people...and not just
the pretty young women...
3. interior diner-day
camera is Andy's P.O.V.-sitting at a table ordering from the
menu. a waitress stands there looking at her pad, taking his
order.
Andy (v.o.)
I’m polite to waitresses...
the waitress stops writing and gives the camera a dirty look.
Andy (v.o.)
...sorry, wait staff.
sound of bell. the waitress smiles, beaming.
4. exterior-baseball field-day
camera is Andy's P.O.V.-a seven foot tall, intimidating man in a
little league coach's uniform. he is yelling at the camera spit
flying everywhere. the camera looks to the side of the man to
show a rather small woman charging the unknowing coach.
the coach pulls the camera back into his face. the small woman
spins the coach around and they begin yelling at each other.
Andy (v.o.)
...and I never disrespect my mother,
because at 5’1” she is still a force...
mother jumps up and punches coach a la "my cousin vinney".
coach falls down.
Andy (v.o.)
...to be reckoned with!
5. exterior-apartment building-day
Andy is exiting apartment taking garbage to the curb. in his
hands are six overstuffed garbage bags ready to burst.
Andy (v.o.)
In fact, deep down, I think I am like
most people. I think most people are good,
kind people when you get down to it, it’s
just, like me...
a car drives by splashing mud all over Andy, as a young black
woman and an old white man observe the scene mere inches away
standing at a bus stop. neither the young woman or the old man
are touched by the mud.
Andy (v.o.)
...they’ve had problems layered over top
that lead to the fuzzy lollipop they are
today.
the garbage bags rip open spilling trash all over Andy.
Andy (v.o.)
It is this fuzzy lollipopped person...
a jack russell walks in and sniffs Andy"s feet and trash.
Andy (v.o.)
...that we honk at while driving...
6. exterior-apartment building-day
close up on dog as he pees on Andy's feet.
Andy (v.o.)
...and glare at while they are taking
too long...
7. exterior-apartment building-day
wide shot-Andy standing there looking down as dog trots away.
Andy (v.o.)
...in the check out lane.
8. exterior-apartment building- day
medium/close shot of Andy looking down at feet. a bus roles
past him and stops to pick up the young woman and the old man.
the bus splashes him and he is now covered head-to-toe as if he
had jumped into a lake of mud.
Andy looks up and spits out a mouthful of mud.
Andy (v.o.)
So there we are.
FREEZE FRAME.
Andy (v.o.)
A group of fuzzy lollipops running
around grating on each other. All we
would have to do is scrape away the
fuzz, and we would be a world of sweet,
fragranted, mouth-watering lollipops.
How hard can that be to do?
9. interior-corporate office-break room sink-day
Andy is rinsing something off in the sink.
Andy (v.o.)
If I have an actual lollipop, covered
with fuzz, I can easily...
Andy pulls a smoking, empty lollipop stick out of the sink.
the sink is smoking as well. Andy looks around in disbelief.
Andy (v.o.)
...clean it off under the faucet...
10.interior-corporate confrence room-day
lights come up at the end of a presentation being given by
Andy. the camera is behind him looking at the other dozen
people at the confrence table. they are all in disgust from
looking at Andy. Andy shrugs his shoulders as if to say "what?"
Andy (v.o.)
...or just claim the “10 second” rule
and lick the thing clean.
11. interior-confrence room-day
close up of Andy-looking confused, he has thick lint-like fuzz
all over his lips. he opens his mouth and his teeth and tongue
are covered as well.
Andy (v.o.)
Why is this so hard to do in real life?