Not that funny

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: : : First off, the sequel brigade. Hollywood will sequelize ANYTHING, even if they know it'll be shit, such as- : : 1) Freddy vs. Jason: After the absolute hilarity that was Jason X rightfully tanked, you'd think they'd take the hint, right? : Jason X was the reason they made Freddy Vs. Jason. It only cost about $12 million and grossed about $40, plus has done fairly well in rental and sales receipts. : : 2) Ocean's Twelve: No, I'm not kidding. They want to make a sequel to a bad remake of a bad old Rat Pack movie. Well, at least they came up with an original title, no wait... : You are one of few people who don't like that movie. I will be lining up. : : 3) Tomb Raider 2: The first one was so bad my eyes bled. And here comes #2, probably followed by a 3rd. Heaven help us. : I can't argue, because you are right, the level of suckosity in this film was incredible. : : 4) 2 Fast 2 Furious: The title made me start laughing right away (especially with the 2's), and since this "high octane, funky fresh, totally rad to the max" sequel doesn't even have the Vin Diesel character, it's guaranteed to suck. : My only problem with this is you assume the first one didn't suck. : : Speaking of Vin Diesel, : : 5) Pitch Black 2-4: Remember that Sci-fi sleeper hit Pitch Black with Vin Diesel from, say 1998-9 or so? It seems that since Mr. Diesel has become a star they want to make THREE sequels to it. Three. In the words of Inspector Gadget, wowzers. : Yea, but they brought back the original writer and director to craft it, and his projects usually are pretty interesting, so I wanna see this one first. : : Then, comes the comic book movies. I know everyone knows about the big ones but... : : 6) Catwoman: They are going to make a Catwoman movie. It's going to be about a mousy secretary who, after discovering her corporate exec boss's dirty secret, is murdered, magically "revived" by cats and turns into a vengeful, acrobatic sexpot. Sound familiar? Didn't they already MAKE that movie? And it's not even like that one was GOOD! JESUS! : So maybe if they do they'll get it right this time? : : 7) Superman: The long in development Supes movie is FINALLY being made (without Kevin's script and STILL being produced by giant-spider-loving freakazoid Jon Peters). And you will see, as I did, that it will suck after hearing a single fact about it. In the film, Lex Luthor is going to be an alien from outer space AND a CIA agent. Need I say more? : Kinda hard to make that assertion since the script isn't done. : : Other movies: : : 8) Starsky and Hutch: Ben Stiller and (buddy-action-comedy movie king) Owen Wilson will star. With Snoop Doggy Dog as Huggy Bear. And it might not even be a comedy. Maybe I'm alone on this, but I can't think of a possible situation where I might want to watch a crap-fest like that. : I can. Airline flight to hell. Seriously, I'll go, I like Owen Wilson. : : And probably the best one... : : *9) Hot Wheels- The Movie : I can see the sequel now. Micro Machine, with the narrator that guy who can speak a 1000 words in a second and still no one gives a shit what he says. : Adam

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