Posted by Rev. Jonny Fabulous at 193.1.74.15 on May 15, 2003 at 11:07:25:
I am looking for a child to adopt.
You must be at least 7, but no more than 9, a quick study, learned in the arts of fisticuffs, and able to contribute to the running costs of my life.
You must also agree with me unquestioningly, and spread stories of my "gr8ness" after I die.
If you are this child, I will send you a stamped addressed envelope, which you will then use to travel to my house. You must then clean said house.
John (Or "Father", "Sir", "His Daddyship", but not "Poppysocks", "Feckin Eejit" or "Nobody Frigg'n Move! This is a Robbery!")