Posted by fluffy at 216.230.138.157 on May 26, 2003 at 16:47:15:
In Reply to: Or try some of these.... posted by Jessica Rabbit on May 26, 2003 at 16:35:06:
: 50 ways to FREAK your roommate
:
: 1.Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats
: meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding
: your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the
: wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
:
: 2.Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head whilehe/she is
: asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker atyour roommate every
: morning.
:
: 3.Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as
: you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep
: looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
:
: 4.Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for
: your roommate to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say,
: "Uh- oh, it looks like, THEY, were here again. "
:
: 5. Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick
: him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.
:
: 6.Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been
: watching too much "Beavis & Butthead." Do it again. Tell him/her that you're
: not sorry because this time, they deserved it.
:
: 7.Put your glasses on before you go to bed. Take them off as soon as you
: wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses.
: Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.
:
: 8.Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile
: them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming,
: but you can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the consequences.
:
: 9.Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquireabout his/her
: academic potential. Take lots of notes, and thengive your roommate a full report.
: Insist that he/she do the same.
:
: 10."Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in
: training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
:
: 11.Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate
: you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one as home.
: Unpack everything and go to sleep.
:
: 12.Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Oh, my God! Where the hell am
: I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your
: roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.
:
: 13.Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it
: and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."
:
: 14.Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and
: the napkin. Throw everything else away.
:
: 15. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start
: to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room with you,"
: storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the
: pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.
:
: 6.Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops
: out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.
:
: 17.Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats
: eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
:
: 18.Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look
: at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
:
: 19.Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back and
: tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for several
: hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your
clothes, and ignore your roommate.
:
: 20.Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours
: of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of
: him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won't be here much longer."
:
: 21.If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head with
: a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."
:
: 22.Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that you don't know how
: they got there.
:
: 23.Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep
: one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
:
: 24.Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room
: and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day,
: miraculously "recover." Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving
: everything to you. Every time he/she coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are you
: dying?"
:
: 25.Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back
: into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."
:
: 26.Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If
: your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here somewhere."
:
: 27.Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to
faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later
on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several
weeks.
:
: 28.Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in the
: building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too, explain
that
: he/she needs bowling shoes.
:
: 29.Walk backwards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt yourself. Fake
: an injury and go through a long, painful recovery. Start walking backwards
: again.
:
: 30.While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your
: roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
:
: 31.Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a prospective
: student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your roommate
: protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that he/she hurt its feelings.
: Watch T.V with the pig, eating lots of bacon.
:
: 32.Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich.
: Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the hell is
: my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.
:
: 33.Punch a hole in the T.V. Sit and watch it anyway, complaining about the
: poor picture quality.
:
: 34.Wear a cape. Stand in front of an open window for about an hour every
: day. Then, one day, when your roommate is gone, go outside and lie down
: underneath the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait for your roommate to
return. The
: next day, start standing in front of the window again.
:
: 35.Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one
: after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a
: few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your
: roommate, "He just didn't belong."
:
: 36.Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave,
: and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that you feel sick.
: Continue this process for several weeks.
:
: 37.Cover your bed with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate
: asks, explain
: that "It's a jungle out there." Get your roommate to bring you food and water.
:
: 38.Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with fear for a few
days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the door only a crack and
whispering to your roommate, "Psst! Is it gone?"
:
: 39.Break the window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain that you were
hot. Open and close the broken window as you normally would.
:
: 40.Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your
: roommate that you hit the bull's eye.
:
: 41.Send flowers to your roommate, with a card that says, "I'm sorry. It won't
: happen again." When you see them, start ripping up the flowers. Repeat the
: process for a few weeks.
:
: 42.Call your roommate "Clyde" by accident. Start doing so every so often.
: Increase the frequency over the next few weeks, until you are calling him
: "Clyde" all the time. If your roommate protests, say, "I'm sorry. I won't do
: that anymore, Murray."
:
: 43.Hire a night watchman to guard the room while you are sleeping.
:
: 44.Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows
: how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the
: room with concern.
:
: 45.Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb and
: scream, "Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Cry hysterically for a few minutes,
and
: then go to bed. Sob and sniff all night.
: 46.When your roommate comes in, pretend that
: you are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After you
: hang up, say, "That was your mom. She said she'd call back."
:
: 47.Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and
: go to bed. When he/she leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay, guys, you can
: come out now."
:
: 48.Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your roommate tells you to take it
: off, say, "What the hell do you think you are? A king?"
:
: 49.Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing.
: Then, look up and say, "I think this game goes a lot faster with two players."
:
: 50.Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl
on
: the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch
: them suffer."