Oh my God

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: : OK, so I'm searching through some documents on the network at my work. (I kindof CREATED the network so I can see everything on everyones computer (power baby) and I came across this little document. I mean, COME ON. Chicks, please say that this is NOT what every chick wants. I just couldn't believe my eyes and SOMEONE had to see it. You see, it's a synopsis of what this person-who-shall-remain-nameless' ideal man would be. I found it and after reading it, women think MEN are PICKY?!?!?!!! DAMN.... : : Sorry for not posting in a while. I still lurk but I'm WAY busier at the new job. So.. Here's the bullshit IDEAL MAN as I found it written on a co-workers computer (she's about 23): : : MY IDEAL SCENE : : MAY 18, 2003 : : 1. HE HAS TO BE 6’FT TO 6’4’’ : : 2. MUSCULAR WITH NICE PECKS, ABLE TO PICK ME UP EASILY, VERY NICELY BUILT : : 3. NOTHING OUT OF PROPORTION : : 4. NICE PENUS, ABOUT 7 INCHES : : 5. RITCH, RITCH ENOUGH TO SUPPORT US FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES AND THEN SOME : : 6. WORKS HERE. : : 7. SAME GOALS AND PURPOSES. : : 8. GET ALONG WITH MY FAMILY : : 9. BE ABLE TO SUPPORT MY PARENTS WHEN THEY GET OLD, BUT THEY DON’T LIVE WITH US, NEARBY WOULD BE NICE THOUGH. : : 10. WANTS AND LOVES KIDS. : : 11. IS OK WITH ADOPTING THE SAME RATIO OF KIDS THAT WE HAVE. : : 12. NOT RACIST : : 13. UPTONE, DOESN’T PUT UP WITH MY SHIT, DOESN’T GIVE ME ANY : : 14. SAME COMM LAG AS ME : : 15. VERY IN COMM : : 16. LOVES ANIMALS : : 17. WILL TAKE ME OUT TO DINNER, A MOVIE AND WHAT EVER ELSE, AND HE PAYS : : 18. I WANT TO FIND THIS GUY WHEN I GET BACK FROM LA WITH IN 3 MONTHS, THE SOONER THE BETTER : : 19. GETS ALONG REALLY WELL WITH MY FRIENDS ESPECIALLY CHRIS, JULIE, MATINA, COLIN, WELL THE LIST GOES ON, THE POINT IS HE IS REALLY GOOD FRIENDS WITH THEM. : : 20. HE HAS TO HAVE A REALLY NICE FAMILY WHO ARE , NO FAMILY MEMBER IS ANTAGONISTIC : : 21. GOOD HYGENE NOT SMELLY, ANYWHERE. : : 22. GOOD ABILITY TO ADAPT TO ME. : : 23. STAYS IN EXCHANGE WITH ME, I STAY IN GOOD EXCHANGE WITH HIM : : 24. NOT MEAN OR PUSHY : : 25. VERY FUNNY, CAN ALWAYS MAKE ME LAUGH, BUT KNOWS WHEN IT ISN’T APPROPRIATE : : 26. SMART, IQ OF AROUND 130 : : 27. WE GET MARRIED IN 6 MONTHS : : 28. I WANT A BIG DIAMOND ON OUR ENGAGEMENT RING : : 29. I WANT A HUGE, BEAUTIFUL WEDDING : : 30. HE KEEPS ME HAPPY : : 31. NO MAGOR FIGHTS : : 32. LOVES TO HOLD ME : : 33. BLACK, BUT NOT TOO DARK, SOME LIGHT RACE MIX… YUMMM!!!!! : : 34. ISN’T VIOLENT : : 35. HAS A DAMN NICE CAR, LIKE A PORCHE BOXTER OR A DODGE DERANGO : : 36. BUYS ME A DAMN NICE CAR : : 37. THROUGHS ME A SURPRISE PARTY ON MY BIRTHDAY : : 38. LOVES ME MORE THAN I CAN PUT INTO THIS IDEAL SCENE : : 39. I LOVE HIM MORE THAN I CAN PUT INTO THIS IDEAL SCENE : : 40. WE LOOK GREAT TOGETHER : : 41. WON’T CARE IF I GAIN A FEW POUNDS : : 42. ALWAYS SUPPORTS ME, IN WHATEVER I CHOSE, BUT STATES HIS OPINION CLEARLY : : 43. WE ARE 100% HAPPY TOGETHER : : 44. GOOD TEETH, CLEAN, STRAIGHT, WHITE, NOT STAINED : : 45. BETWEEN THE AGES OF 18 AND 24 YEARS OLD : : 46. COMPLETELT READY FOR COMMITMENT : : 47. DRESSES NICE, SHOPS AT PLACES LIKE: J CREW, THE GAP, ETC, VERY NICE STYLE : : 48. WE MOVE INTO MY HOUSE AFTER ABOUT A MONTH OF DATING, LIVE THERE FOR SIX MONTHS TO A FEW YEARS, THEN GET A PLACE OF OUR OWN : : 49. PASSIONATE, LIKE ME BUT DOESN’T GET CARRIED AWAY, LOVES THAT I AM SO PASSIONATE : : 50. SOCIAL, FRIENDLY : : 51. LIKES ME, AND ONLY ME… : : I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!! : If this is, I'll be single for life. I read one a few years back that was about half this size and almost ridiculous. Some women are just insane. : Smosh

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