Posted by Eyesonly at zeb.zqwdrqsz.com on June 11, 2003 at 15:17:12:
In Reply to: damn dogs! they keep telling me to write stories!! posted by halo8 on June 11, 2003 at 14:01:46:
: Just the other day, I noticed there was a lot less sheep in the cedar tree
: behind my trailer. I went outside to see what was wrong, when, wouldn't you
: know it, my over-weight cross-dressing-hemophiliac prostitute neighbor fell
: of his porch onto a box full of nails and broken bottles. I told him 6 1/2
: times that it was silly to keep that box there, but nooo. so I rushed him
: down to red cross and sold his blood until he was out. then I pumped him
: full of Dr. Pepper, and wow! right back to life. I knew it would work.
: saw it on McGuiver. so we left the red cross and sped down the pear
: coloured road in my 2006 Ford Durango SS with the optional 23-speed manual
: tranny and the 6-speed egg-beater protruding from the rear bumper.
: Suddenly, I realized I was at home, and none of the above had occurred yet.
: so I ran out side and said, "hey Randy! you are about to fall into your box
: of nails and broken glass!" but then I remembered I really didn't like him.
: so I threw the box at him and froze his house with my mental ice-powers.
: later that day, I was eating my daily serving of antelope wax and duck cum
: when I heard a loud scream and Jell-O being thrown. It was the old folks
: home again! the geriatrics had over run the place! nurses were hanging
: from the trees by I.V.s! the streets were filling with people with cane and
: walker injuries! I picked up my fully automatic Remington bolt action
: ahead-lice-powered titanium reinforced turkey-injecting marinade laser and begin
: basting old folks. that's when I remembered the lack of sheep in my cedar
: tree and ran to Denny's and had a waffle with lima bean syrup and a glass of
: fish eyes Pepsi. I stopped at one of those all-night tackle/lingerie shops
: on my way home and picked up a pair of fly-fishing nighties for the little
: lady. She's really little. I had to buy the one that they had on a display
: Barbie. I got home some time between 12:34 and January. I wondered if the
: tree was all better so I checked it out and found that not only was the tree
: producing, but it was also writing pop songs for Britney Spears. boy were
: we rich! I anointed the tree with Crisco and fish entrails, then beat a
: live hamster unconscious with a soft-serve ice cream. that took a while.
: then I thawed our the neighbor and sold him as spare parts to Trump.
: Unknowingly, I picked up my shoes.