Posted by CoreyY at 207-177-229-244.dsl.redshift.com on September 18, 2003 at 14:16:12:
In Reply to: I got it, just don't completely buy it. posted by Frankman on September 18, 2003 at 13:47:34:
: :
: : : I don't know, is something as little as offering to have a bisexual threesome that damaging?
: : Was that she was beyond that in her life. She wanted to settle down with the person she loved, and found out that she could never do that with him.
: +++++No, I got that. He thought that the situation required it. She didn't want to do it, knew it would forever alter their dynamic in a negative way. The ulitmatum was laid out...
: I understood it fine. I just (perhaps niavely) think that saying "you were right, I'm sorry" to her and "dude, don't ever let me get that crazy" to him and everything could have returned to a near status quo. Even if it would have been impossible for all three to interact again I would have thought the friendship could have been mended.
: I mean, really, we all know that guy who disappears/goes odd when a girl is in the equation. He gets welcomed back into the fold and is given hell for his transgressions.
: A few humourous smackdowns do a lot for the healing process IMHO.
: thanks for your input,
: Frank
(WARNING: long post ahead)
While your opinion is your own, and arguing opinions is virtually pointless (that being said, here's my argument to your opinion, heh), I think you're overestimating the willingess of people to just "get over" something. You have three people, two relationships, the common point of which is Holden. Holden's girlfriend, who's completely changed her lifestyle and "settled down" for him out of love...and Banky, the best friend who feels he's losing probably the closest person to him in his life to this woman and at the same time feels the emminent crumbling of his creative union with him (not to mention the ambiguous romantic connection that's suggested). Holden causes the rift in both relationship through his own actions and feelings...he feels a sense of alienation from his girlfriend because her previous experiences are far beyond anything he knows, which descends into anger and then regret...He's alienating Banky because of his own feelings of guilt over commercial success (and potential further success) at the cost of his artistic integrity and the ideas and feelings that Alyssa has brought into his realm of thought about the way Banky directs his anger and emotional confusion.
I realize I'm chewing up a lot of post by recapping the plot, but my point is his sollution to his percieved problems (which are his own doing, almost completely) is to further alienate those people. To Alyssa he's insulting her by suggesting she would have a 3 way for him, when she wants to settle down to a "normal" lifestyle with him and leave her sexual experimentation behind...and when Banky agrees to it he is, in a way, "tipping his hand" about his possible feelings for Holden, only to have it backfire and leave him there, emotionally exposed. So for Alyssa and Holden, he's destroyed their relationship by being jealous about things that have nothing to do with him, saying they're slutty and whatnot, then suggests she do them for him. That's pretty damaging to a relationship, and she makes it quite clear she can't be with him for that reason. Maybe she felt after that incident that she would resume her search for love, maybe it would change her perspective, but she doesn't appear to regret it, just moves on. As for Banky, I think you can chalk that up as much to Holden as to him...the suggestion of homosexual love has been introduced into their friendship and Banky opened his mind to the possibility, at least for a moment (if he hadn't already, inwardly)...maybe Banky was unable to accept his feelings and still be friends with Holden, maybe he knew Holden was straight and he was actually gay and couldn't maintain a frienship without romance...maybe Holden felt regret over suggesting it and felt akward, I think the emotional possibilities are endless. The ending makes sense to me, there's a sense of closure for the characters. They all seem to have grown (whatever that means), maybe not in a linear progression from where that scene left off, but that's life. I think they're all beyond anger or avoidance, but the possibility of those relationship (at that point) continuing as they were isn't really there. I find it to be really true to life, in a general sense of emotion and how people behave.