Posted by Typpzy at wc06.wlfdle.rnc.net.cable.rogers.com on September 19, 2003 at 11:07:16:
Okay, I think Jen & Ben's postponement is pretty normal if you ask me. Trust me, I'd like nothing more than to see Ben get his life together (Without Jennifer). He seems very confused, sidetracked, and wains in-and-ot of low self-esteem.
Jen pulls in the reigns, he lashes out. The guy's just afraid of committment. Doesn't mean he doesn't want to, just means he's got intimacy issues in that area. I feel sorry for both of them because everyone's expecting them to be these "Perfect People", but they're not. They've both got real issues, just like the rest of us.
Jennifer's so scared of being dumped or "failing" at yet another relationship, she's been pushing this wedding forever. Why? Nothing "magically" happens once you're Mr.& Mrs.(and SHE should know).
I think taking a break to just sit back and breathe is an excellent idea for both of them. Shit, getting married is a serious thing, and if either one of them has the tiniest bit of doubt, than it's not the right time - back off for a bit and wait...
Heaven forbid they have a child together and realize 2 years down the road that this isn't what they wanted. Now there's a child caught up in the web of passion and compulsive thinking. This child didn't ask to be brought into this - and he will either absorb the animosity between the parents or turn inward and "disappear" to escape the pain of being in a rich & famous, albeit, but broken home.
Or the other way it could go is that they are truely ready to deal with the rough patches that come up in the road, see eye-to-eye on each other's goals and have a happy union. And if children come into the picture at this point, God bless them, and it's a joyous occasion indeed! I child will be brought into the world knowing love, committment, solidarity, strength, hope, faith and so on...
The reason if feel so strongly on this is because I, myself am just seperated from my husband. We have 2 beautiful boys, who are feeling the schrapnell of the divorce. It's not right, and it sickens me to think of how I could've avoided most of the pain by backing off from the wedding when I KNEW deep down inside the union wasn't right. Now there are, in fact, children involved and that's something we have to deal with-we're stuck in each other's lives for the next 20-something years! THAT blows goats!
Whatever ends up happening for the two, I just hope that it's for the best and that both Jen and Ben put a lot of thought into this. It's their lives, and they'll do whatever they want to (it their right to, isn't it?) so FUCK what the media says, opinions (even mine) that are strewn about, bets, etc. and just go after what is truely in your hearts!!! Be true to yourselves, and hopefully the road in life will be less bumpy!
Bitter, but insightful, Rachel A.K.A. Typpzy