Posted by VioLenT BoB (V-Busy) at njtnt-1-394.dialup.enter.net on March 08, 2004 at 20:46:37:
1. Do not appear on Reality show's with Real, Surreal, or Celebrity in the title. Conversely, Reality Show people YOU are NOT celebrities and should refrain from such labels.
a) Do not write books, or put out EPs chronicling your ordeal.
B) Two strikes does not count as being a Triple Threat.
Nick and Jessica should read and adhere to the above rules.
2. Do not release more than two singles on the airwaves until one of your past 'hits' has seen its last day. I call this the "Lil Jon/ Jay Z/ Ja RULE" ha, Rule, get it?
3. If there is a videotape of you having sex with and or pissing on someone, see that it is Supressed, better men than you have done so...
a)If there is a videotape of you having sex with and pissing on a minor, do not pass go. Do not call Johnny Cochrane. Go straight to jail.
b)If there is no videotape but you have a pet monkey and are prone to wearing Surgical Masks, Go straight to hell, with one exclusion, Jet Li. His is an Iron Monkey, and as a Hong Kong film star the mask is more about SARS than some weird germ vanity.
4. Keep who you are voting for to yourself. Mr. Selleck, I don't care who you're voting for. Ms. Sarandon, shut it. Mr. Durst, you can only hurt whoever you're campaigning for. This rule can be nullified if Pauly Shore can correctly explain exactly what a hanging chad is. Note: Due to recent racist accusations Mel Gibson's definition of Hanging Chad may be offensive, ask only at your own risk.
5. Voicing cartoon characters, Good. Voicing gerbils, meat puppets, snapdragons, and demon humpers for Corporate America, bad. NO MORE NOIDS!
VB
That's all for now.