What you want and what you'll get

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Posted by fluffy at 216.230.138.157 on March 08, 2004 at 20:55:54:

In Reply to: Here's what I need from America's Celebrities.... posted by VioLenT BoB (V-Busy) on March 08, 2004 at 20:46:37:

~ are two different animals. God only knows but they can't help but use their famous
voices to publicly and with much fanfar, announce their political views. In that sense
they are just like the rest of use, forgetting though, that people worship them and
therefore HEAR them.

: 1. Do not appear on Reality show's with Real, Surreal, or Celebrity in the title.
Conversely, Reality Show people YOU are NOT celebrities and should refrain from
such labels.

: a) Do not write books, or put out EPs chronicling your ordeal.

: B) Two strikes does not count as being a Triple Threat.

: Nick and Jessica should read and adhere to the above rules.

~They can't stop themselves. It's like a drug.

: 2. Do not release more than two singles on the airwaves until one of your past
'hits' has seen its last day. I call this the "Lil Jon/ Jay Z/ Ja RULE" ha, Rule, get it?

~ When hell freezes over.

: 3. If there is a videotape of you having sex with and or pissing on someone, see
that it is Supressed, better men than you have done so...

: a)If there is a videotape of you having sex with and pissing on a minor, do not
pass go. Do not call Johnny Cochrane. Go straight to jail.

: b)If there is no videotape but you have a pet monkey and are prone to wearing
Surgical Masks, Go straight to hell, with one exclusion, Jet Li. His is an Iron
Monkey, and as a Hong Kong film star the mask is more about SARS than some
weird germ vanity.

~ How about try NOT to get videotaped in private for Christ's sake. Especially
bathroom habits.

: 4. Keep who you are voting for to yourself. Mr. Selleck, I don't care who you're
voting for. Ms. Sarandon, shut it. Mr. Durst, you can only hurt whoever you're
campaigning for. This rule can be nullified if Pauly Shore can correctly explain
exactly what a hanging chad is. Note: Due to recent racist accusations Mel
Gibson's definition of Hanging Chad may be offensive, ask only at your own risk.

: 5. Voicing cartoon characters, Good. Voicing gerbils, meat puppets,
snapdragons, and demon humpers for Corporate America, bad. NO MORE NOIDS!

: VB
: That's all for now.
~ I wish you could have everything you want. The world would be far more
interesting.

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: ~ are two different animals. God only knows but they can't help but use their famous : voices to publicly and with much fanfar, announce their political views. In that sense : they are just like the rest of use, forgetting though, that people worship them and : therefore HEAR them. : : 1. Do not appear on Reality show's with Real, Surreal, or Celebrity in the title. : Conversely, Reality Show people YOU are NOT celebrities and should refrain from : such labels. : : a) Do not write books, or put out EPs chronicling your ordeal. : : B) Two strikes does not count as being a Triple Threat. : : Nick and Jessica should read and adhere to the above rules. : ~They can't stop themselves. It's like a drug. : : 2. Do not release more than two singles on the airwaves until one of your past : 'hits' has seen its last day. I call this the "Lil Jon/ Jay Z/ Ja RULE" ha, Rule, get it? : ~ When hell freezes over. : : 3. If there is a videotape of you having sex with and or pissing on someone, see : that it is Supressed, better men than you have done so... : : a)If there is a videotape of you having sex with and pissing on a minor, do not : pass go. Do not call Johnny Cochrane. Go straight to jail. : : b)If there is no videotape but you have a pet monkey and are prone to wearing : Surgical Masks, Go straight to hell, with one exclusion, Jet Li. His is an Iron : Monkey, and as a Hong Kong film star the mask is more about SARS than some : weird germ vanity. : ~ How about try NOT to get videotaped in private for Christ's sake. Especially : bathroom habits. : : 4. Keep who you are voting for to yourself. Mr. Selleck, I don't care who you're : voting for. Ms. Sarandon, shut it. Mr. Durst, you can only hurt whoever you're : campaigning for. This rule can be nullified if Pauly Shore can correctly explain : exactly what a hanging chad is. Note: Due to recent racist accusations Mel : Gibson's definition of Hanging Chad may be offensive, ask only at your own risk. : : 5. Voicing cartoon characters, Good. Voicing gerbils, meat puppets, : snapdragons, and demon humpers for Corporate America, bad. NO MORE NOIDS! : : VB : : That's all for now. : ~ I wish you could have everything you want. The world would be far more : interesting.

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