Posted by Lucifer Lyndon Razoodock at spider-wl012.proxy.aol.com on June 20, 2000 at 09:22:20:
I must haul-ass in setting-up my ScanJet so the lot of you can see this Christ-watch I aquired in a Reno pawn-shop.
Picture this: The visage of everyone's favourite bearded-love-hippie (no, not Kevin)splayed within a gold-plated frame as the seconds tick away over the image of His sacrifice.
I saw it lined-up next to an Elvis watch and a Minnie Mouse watch and I knew I had to have it...sadly, breaking the unholy trinity of the Holy Spirit, The King and The Mouse's Bitch...
Christ knows what time it is, by my ticker...
It's also intriguing to note that three-handed axis (sic!!) falls just a millimeter or two north of our Saviour's modesty.
True, this timeless-piece is hair-raising by Cardinal Glick's standards, but he never has to see it, ya know?
Glick went to Heaven, right? I mean, his heart was certainly in the right place...
It was merely his head which seemed misplaced.
Here's a dialogue which occured over the purchase of a "Chasing Amy" DvD about three days ago...
Dateline: Camelot, Oak Park Mall, Kansas City
Camelot Girl: Did you like "The (sic!!) DOGMA?"
LLR: Uh, yeah. I thought it was great.
Camelot Girl: Really? I turned it off. I didn't understand it.
LLR: Oh...Are you, perchance, Catholic? You see, I dug it as I'm Catholic and used to be seriously devout.
Camelot Girl: Yeah, I was raised Catholic, but I don't really believe. In truth, "Mallrats" is my favourite. I love Jason Lee. He has a great presence.
LLR:Yeah, I guess your right. Well, I did love it when Alanis exploded Affleck's head...
--tom
stink palm = Great Presence