Posted by Xtian at would.you.fellate.us on February 25, 2004 at 11:53:21:
In Reply to: Re: because her environment fostered it? posted by Strictly Skewed on February 25, 2004 at 11:21:18:
: Fine, you're not sympathetic.
thanks for allowing me that, really.
: Someone comes on this board, and opens up a wound for you to see, to make a point.
whatever point she wanted to make, she was free to make. i also made a point 'man is not equal to men'. i am free to make my points as well.
:Okay, in addition to what she said there are other factors, that doesn't make what she said wrong.
which, of course, i never stated, but ok.
: It could be, and probably is a factor. I find your approach to discussion very callous.
you may find my approach any way you wish to find it. it will not change the way i interact with anyone, online or otherwise. i reserve the right to be myself, at all times.
: I think you're being naive here.
no, i'm being different in how i deal with the world than you are. i think you are making both an assumption and a generalization on how i should be acting.
: You use generalizations all the time. Every time you meet somebody new, you make generalizations, you have to, otherwise communication is impossible.
you may be every man, you may be a new word man, you may be a renaissance man, but you are not me. do not tell me what i do and what i do not do as though you have a window into my soul and can see my every action.
do i see someone on the street and assume they speak english before i speak to them? yes. do i see a pretty girl at a bar and assume she wont speak to me? also yes?
do i see a person the street and assume that they don’t speak english and therefore are foreign and stupid? no do i see a pretty girl at a bar and assume she's a lesbian because she wont talk to me? no
generalizations are as assumptions do, my maman always told me. communication isnt possible without generalization? i don’t even have any what the hell that is supposed to mean. i think you and i communicate on different levels, or you only exist in a theoretical world.
: See, now, you have made assumptions, and they are completely incorrect. I am neither someone who abuses alcohol, nor someone who womanizes.
i don’t recall stating that you are the sum of your father’s parts, btw. we were talking about views, not actions.
:Also, I think I have very healthy views on women, or at least, usually when someone has been affected the way you're talking about, men have views about women that are very dismissive and abusive. I swing very much the other way.
i am incredibly pleased to hear that. but you original statement was “My father was an alcoholic and a womanizer. Is it surprising that *I* have problems relating to other men?” to which i theorized you might find that sort of male behaviour perfectly acceptable, as he might have been the only real male role model you had.