Posted by Karla! at pcp01118684pcs.flshng01.mi.comcast.net on June 29, 2002 at 01:46:13:
Because we really read this tonight
Since the dawn of time, the human race has been factioned into two
groups: the People and the Newbies. The People are smart,
intelligent beings with social skills and superior intellect that far
surpasses that of the Newbie. They are cunning and quick, whereas
Newbies are slow and dimwitted. The People rejoice in their love and
worship of their totum god Kevin Smith, or Silent Bob as he is often
called by the younger Newbies who do not know His name. Many of
the Newbie tribe share in the worship of Kevin Smith, and come to
His sacred grounds (lovingly named the "VA Board" by the
commoners) to state their opinions and to ask questions of their god
and the People tribe. But all is not well, because the opinions and
questions the Newbies raise are dull and repetitive, and are often
deragotory towards the almighty Kevin Smith. This angers the
People, who join forces to slander and abuse the Newbie tribe until
they learn to ask smart, witty questions and state opinions that show
a sense of depth. The People, as well as their fearless god Kevin
Smith, believe that this can be better achieved if the Newbies read
the sacred tablets known only as "The Summaries", which many
Newbies forsake. This disregard for the ancient writings leads to the
problems stated above. The lack of knowledge among the Newbies
has caused great conflict and discomfort within the VA Board, so the
People proclaim it their lawful duty to slay the Newbies until they
learn once and for all that there is no room in the VA Board for the
misguided, unintelligent posts that so often occupy their territory.
How will this great war end? Only the omnipotent Kevin Smith truly
knows.
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