Posted by jkm822 at 208.140.189.12 on July 11, 2001 at 10:50:25:
In Reply to: Whatever makes me happy, sets you free... posted by Isis on July 11, 2001 at 10:28:38:
Isis, when I look back on the most recent bad boy in my life (no quotes needed; he was a true and utter bastard), and the literally THOUSANDS of dollars he cost me in security deposits, unpaid rent, groceries and bills (in Kevin's words, from Bethany's lips, "That's a long, sad story that I don't think I know you well enough to subject you to,") I think things significantly harsher, but definitely on the same wavelength as, "What the hell was I thinking?" The passion we feel when we're with guys like that IS entirely self-generated, with a little of, "OK, so he's not Prince Charming, but if I just hold onto him I just KNOW he'll turn out to be a wonderful guy" thrown in. WE want it to be the great American romance; they generally want sex and dedication on tap. We live, and if we're lucky, we learn. The main song that got me through, by the way - "Death on Two Legs" by Queen, with a couple of Rockapella tracks thrown in for good measure, and Alice in Chains, and Stone Temple Pilots... what can I say, I'm eclectic.
I've seen this over and over, both in my own relationships and those of my friends - young women who dedicate their lives and hearts to some guy who doesn't deserve them, altering the entirety of their existence, from the people they hang out with to the hours they sleep (my ex worked nights, and I was working days commuting to Manhattan. I'd come home from work at 7:30pm, eat, sleep until 11:50, pick my boyfriend up, hang out with his friends until 2am, drive him home, go home to bed, and get up again at 7:30am. It was a wonderfully healthy existence, let me tell you). And do you know what happened? He got sick of me being so accomodating, and found someone else to play with while I was at work. And I've seen the exact same thing happen to other women who dedicate themselves so totally to their men. Hence my saying earlier that everyone needs a little "me" time.
Like I said, we live and learn.
Your butter and my butter seem to come from the same dairy farm; I suffer from the same problem. Guess we both have a crush on Kevin for the same reasons. But the thing is, Kevin is at least HONEST about who he is... at least, I THINK he is.... I don't know that I'd say the shy, slightly nerdy type is a scam, exactly, but it's never the whole picture, that's for sure. But I'll take a shy, slightly nerdy type over a bohunk, any day of any week.
At least I always had an excuse not to date the Doom-recluses, though - the motion on those kind of games makes me ill! ;-)
Jill